Walking in Faith...

I have noticed lately when people hear we are adopting the fabulous five (after exclaiming we are crazy of course- but I’ll save that for a different post) that a biggest question we getting is “Your husband must make a ton of money- and how big is your house?” I am here to tell you that while yes we are blessed by a steady job with a good company (we love you 3M!!) we do NOT own a huge, fancy, expensive house and we are NOT loaded with money... we are loaded with FAITH.
Faith that when our God calls- he will provide.
And he has.
He does.
Always.
I think so often we are frozen from doing God’s work because we cannot see the whole picture and that scares us. The amount in the bank, the numbers on the monthly budget- do not add up. It seems impossible, overwhelming. I know, I've been there. But I also know that our God is all powerful- and that is not just a cliché. God doesn’t need our money- He owns everything already. I have learned that when God calls you to do something it is often the exact thing that most people would run from because in our human minds it ‘cannot be possible’. But with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. I know you’ve heard that before- but ARE YOU LIVING LIKE YOU BELIEVE IT? I’ve asked it before but I will ask it again today- ARE YOU LIVING A LIFE THAT PROVES YOU TRUST YOUR GOD? Or, are you living your life according to how your check book balances? I also know what you are probably thinking as you read those words… something along the lines of ‘but you don’t know our situations’… or that may work for some people but not us. No. I am here to tell you. God IS ALWAYS faithful when you are doing His work.
You see, God wants the credit. He wants to do the work. He wants us to know that we are not doing something because WE can. Not because WE are qualified, educated, or good. He wants the credit. HE DESERVES THE CREDIT- WE do not. He wants to work through us. He wants to provide what we need. He wants us to look to Him- seek Him, trust Him.
So no, we do not have a six digit income or a huge house. We have a huge faith. We have a huge God. We trusted God would provide and He has...

~God provided a Christian man from our church who was willing to add onto our house for practically nothing. This man, Dave, was God’s hands and feet. In him we saw Jesus.
~God directed the path for me to meet my amazing friend Kellie (who I trusted with my most prized possessions- my kids) and provided in her a sitter I could trust because our families live 13 hours away. She came armed with plastic dishes, made us dinner, blessed us with a generous gift card and loved on my kids while I was gone. She was God’s hands and feet. In her we saw Jesus.
~God provided a church family full of Christian men and woman along with a pastor who love the Lord and were willing to be God’s hands and feet and paint our home, put together bunk beds and move furniture at a moments notice. In them we saw Jesus.
~God provided a group of ladies from a church in Grabill, Indiana who sent us a generous gift card to Walmart to purchase things needed for our new kids. These woman were wiling to be God’s hands and feet through their willing hearts. In them we saw Jesus.
~God provided me with precious friends who understand our hearts, understand we will stumble and know the exact time when we needed them to send me a verse from scripture or a prayer. They were willing to be God’s hands and feet. In them we saw Jesus.
~God provided the exact item we were needed on sale that day at the store. We saw Jesus.
~God provided an amazing, supportive adoption community of friends who pulled together and gave us a Virtual baby shower so that we could purchase bunk beds and many more needed for our new kids. They were willing to be God’s hands and feet. In each of them we saw Jesus.
~God provided a woman I have never met named Shannon who donated her baby bed and new sheets for the baby. She was willing to be God’s hands and feet. In her we saw Jesus.
~God provided a friend through adoption named Phyllis who drove out of her way to bring us a car seat and support us when. She was willing to be God’s hands and feet. In her we saw Jesus.
~God provided a wonderful friend named Heather who I adore because I can talk honestly to and bounce thoughts off of without feeling judged. She blessed us with a generous gift cared to Target to purchase things for our kids. She was willing to be Gods hands and feet. In her we saw Jesus.
~God provided a gift card from a woman I had never met to purchase pillows from Bed, Bath and Beyond. She was willing to be God’s hands and feet. In her we saw Jesus.
~ God provided a friend named Elizabeth with a heart for orphans who uses her creativeness to create cards and donated some of her profits to us. She was God's hands and feet. In her we saw Jesus.
~God provided a Godly woman who I look up to named Kim who also blessed us with a generous gift card- which we were able to purchase the kids new comforters. She was willing to be God’s hands and feet. In her we saw Jesus.
~ God provided a friend named Kacie who used her talents and made at least a hundred beautiful hair bows for our girls and mailed them to us !She was willing to be God's hands and feet. In her we saw Jesus.
~God provided gift card after gift card from friends from Barnebettes, clothing, high chair, mattresses, toys, etc- all through people who were willing to be God’s hands and feet. In them we saw Jesus.
~God provided us with families with who love and support us, even if they do not always agree with us. They are willing to open their hearts, their homes for the rest of their lives to love these children as their own flesh and blood. They are willing to be God’s hands and feet. In them we saw Jesus.
~God provided me with amazing, supportive, understanding friends who cheer us on and comfort us when needed. They are willing to be God's hands and feet. In them we saw Jesus.

This is all through people who love the Lord and have faith that there is something more than just living an ordinary life. And while I hesitated to write all of these blessings in fear of forgetting some one- I wanted people to see for themselves. It’s not about US being good enough, it’s not about us having it all planned out- or having a huge chunk of money piled in our laps- it’s about us TRUSTING GOD to provide when He calls. And while yes we need to use the brains God gave us- we also need to not be afraid to take that first step of faith. I am not expecting nor am I proclaiming that things will always be easy. We might have to go without sometimes- but big deal. What we have- our children, our family, our friends-and serving our God is more important to me than lavish vacations and brand new cars any day!!! What we are doing is more important to me than wearing name brand clothing and eating out every day. What we are teaching our children is priceless. Worth a whole more than the latest Play station game. What our children will inherit is an example of living a Godly life. They will learn to find joy in serving, happiness in seeing others happy- even if that means them going without. Yet more importantly they will discover contentment in who they are. And there is nothing better than that.
So, I'll ask you one more time... are you living your life that proves you trust your God?

Never fear- I am still alive!!!

Let me see- where do I begin? This last week and a half have been absolutely crazy. Non stop, on the run, ups and downs- just plain old crazy. So much has been happening with our adoption of the fabulous five. I wish I could share more details, but because my blog is now public and because our kiddo's are foster children there is just so much that I cannot put on here in order to protect their privacy. Unfortunately,this includes their pictures- which is so hard for me because can I just tell you they are absolutely beautiful! All five of them- simply precious. So, you will just have to take my word for it for not that's all. :0)
So last Wednesday my awesome friend Kellie ( You are THE BEST KELLIE- THANK YOU!!) came and took care of our five school aged kiddo's while Todd and I loaded up the car, along with Aleigha and Kaden, and traveled about 4 hours away to meet the fabulous five. While we were gone for 2 nights in a hotel my INCREDIBLE church family came and painted 3 bedrooms (we are playing musical bedrooms at our house) and put together the new bunk beds. Now that I will show you pictures of just as soon as I take some and download them...but for now, once again you will have to trust me- it looks FABULOUS. There are just no words to explain how blessed Todd and I feel to be surrounded by such amazing friends. Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts- you have no idea how grateful we are for your help. We love you all.
Thursday morning we got to meet all five of our new kiddo's. They are in 3 separate foster homes so a lot had to be arranged. We went armed with teddy bears and lollipops to help break the ice. Jayla and Lainey were both very outgoing- came right to us. Kai and Jace however kept a safe distance and took some time to warm up to us. Baby Isabella went right into my arms and acted like she had known us her entire life. She never cried once. Not once. Unbelievable. We spent some time together at the girls foster families home and then were able to take them back to the hotel with us for an overnight. Bless their hearts- I cannot image how scared they must have been with complete strangers who called themselves mommy and daddy. We came in, took them from their home, loaded them into our vehicle and took them to a new place and they had no choice but to go with us. I kept telling them how brave they were and how proud I was of them. I told them it was okay to be sad or afraid- that it was okay to feel any way they wanted to feel. We hugged and talked, laughed and cried, and got to know these precious children who would soon be ours forever.
In a perfect world none of this would happen... in a perfect world adoption would not exist. While I know Todd and I are blessed to get to raise these amazingly brave, beautiful children- my heart cannot help but to ache for all they have been through- the changes, the unknowns, and the loss. I pray that the Lord gives me what it takes to be the best mommy I can to these children. I pray I have what it takes to help heal their hearts and restore their faith. I pray that one day they will realize how God himself led us to them... how all along, even in the darkest hours He was watching over them... How all along He had a plan for their lives... I am just so thankful it involved me. :0)

My body, My hands, My feet

Over and over, when I ask God why all of these injustices are allowed to exist in the world, I can feel the spirit whisper to me, “You tell me why we allow this to happen. You are my body, my hands, my feet.”

~Shane Claiborne, The Irrestible Revolution

A must see Video

Many of you followed my amazing friend Carolyn's journey to Ethiopia to adopt sweet Selah and watched as God miraculously paved their rocky road home. Please take the time to watch this segment featuring the Twietmeyer family and ask God what He might have you do. You will be tempted to watch it and simply say"what an amazing family"...yes...they are, but I challenge you to see the Bigger Picture and say..."what an amazing GOD!
http://www.facinglife.tv/episode/season_3/episode_7/episode_307.html

If you do nothing else, would you consider spreading the word- that HIV is NOT a death sentence and it really is hard to transmit! Praise God! If the stigma attached to HIV could be obliterated........more than half the battle would be won!
(Thanks Holly http://www.purposedrivenfamily.blogspot.com/)

Completely

Are you living your life in such a way that proves you trust God?
How much different would your life look like if today you decided to give it all to Him instead of just "going through the motions"?
Dare ya to do it...
Dare you to trust him completely.

Twinkle Twinkle LIttle Star

I have stars in my eyes for you too baby boy!!!

Here comes the bride...

Last weekend I had the privilege of taking 'bridal' pictures of my beautiful friend Brandy. Isn't she just the prettiest bride to be? Congratulations Brandy- I am so proud of you!!! May your lives together be fully blessed.

Good bye Mr. Pacifier

It is a sad, sad day in our house today... and trust me, Mr. Kaden has let his feelings be known. Today we said "Farewell to Mr. Pacifier". Mr. Pacifier has been a good and trusted friend- he was there to comfort my baby when he needed it most. But it's time to move on.

I actually liked Mr. Pacifier myself- he was kind of cute, quiet, and didn't ask for much. But I noticed that I had began to get annoyed with Mr. Pacifier because we would spend endless hours searching for him when he 'hid''. Often times we could accidentally leave him behind and our day was just not the same. So, while it breaks my heart to see my precious Kaden grieve- I know that my baby boy is turning into a big boy now and he can make it in this world alone- without the likes of Mr. Pacifier.

Good-bye Mr. Pacifier- may you rest in peace.

Please pray long and hard before you vote... and listen to what your God is trying to tell you.

So there is only 3 more days until the election and can I just beg you to do one thing for me? Can you please pray for our country? I haven't said a lot on here because I'm really not up for a big debate. Truth of the matter is- I am not an expert on politics and I don't claim to have all the answers. (I leave that to God). But there are some things that I will NOT keep quiet about-some things that as a Christian I feel strongly about and that is the fact that I am pro life- Human life/abortion- is one of my can't compromise issues.

I am so afraid that our country is now thinking only with their pocketbooks- and not searching their hearts and looking to God for the truth. I'm afraid that we have turned out back on God's word and feel some sort of entitlement to having things go 'our' way. Please, please just pray. The future of our children are at stake. This is a big deal folks. Please pray before you vote.

Below is an article I came across on this blog http://wideopenair.blogspot.com/ (thanks Wendi!) Think about it... is this what we have become? If so... what is next? Is this really the type of legacy what we want to leave?

Made in the U.S.A: Spoiled Brats
Originally Posted: November 20, 2006 1:00 am Eastern
By Craig R. Smith © 2008

The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right? The same magazine that employs Michael (Qurans in the toilets at Gitmo) Isikoff. Here I promised myself this week I would be nice and I start off in this way. Oh what a mean man I am.
The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.
So being the knuckle dragger I am, I starting thinking, ''What we are so unhappy about?''
Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?
Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter? I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all involved. Whether you are rich or poor they treat your wounds and even, if necessary, send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.
Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home, you may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of having a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes; an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers.
How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.
Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.
I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?
Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.
So why then the flat out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells. Just ask why they are going to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book and do a TV special about how he didn't kill his wife but if he did … insane!
Stop buying the negative venom you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad.
I close with one of my favorite quotes from B.C. Forbes in 1953:
''What have Americans to be thankful for? More than any other people on the earth, we enjoy complete religious freedom, political freedom, social freedom. Our liberties are sacredly safeguarded by the Constitution of the United States, 'the most wonderful work ever struck off at a given time by the brain and purpose of man.' Yes, we Americans of today have been bequeathed a noble heritage. Let us pray that we may hand it down unsullied to our children and theirs.''
I suggest this Thanksgiving we sit back and count our blessings for all we have. If we don't, what we have will be taken away. Then we will have to explain to future generations why we squandered such blessing and abundance. If we are not careful this generation will be known as the ''greediest and most ungrateful generation.'' A far cry from the proud Americans of the ''greatest generation'' who left us an untarnished legacy.

Craig R. Smith is an author, commentator and popular media guest because he instantly engages audiences with his common-sense analyses of local, national and global trends.

**Being a Christian means being 'christ like'. How do you think Jesus would vote? Now go be like Him...

Who Dun it... Mystery Solved?

Okay, I am quite positive you have all been loosing sleep waiting to find out "who dun it"- which culprit left the booger on the bathroom wall. I know I have!

I have spent hour after hour interrogating my children, husband, neighbor kids, etc, etc, over who left the 'almost' famous booger on my wall 2 inces away from the toilet paper roll. (If you are just joining in scroll down to post below)

One of my little cherubs confessed to wiping one behind their bed, one of them confessed to wiping one under the seat on the school bus (gag) but nobody for the life of me would confess to leaving that booger next to the toilet paper roll!!!

So, in light of today being Halloween and all- I have decided to end this mystery once and for all and put the blame on the BOOGIE MONSTER. Yes folks, that HAD to be it! The boogie monster did it.

There. Mystery Solved. :0)

Happy Halloween!!

Why is that?

"It’s extraordinary to me that the United States can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire G8 can’t find $25 billion dollars to save 25,000 children who die every day from preventable diseases."
- Bono

Perspective

Though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings, thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible, thank you, Lord, that I can see.

Many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising, thank you, Lord, that I have the strength to rise.

There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned and tempers are short, my children are so loud, thank you, Lord, for my family.

There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced, thank you, Lord, for the food we have.

There are many who are hungry.

Even though the routine of my job often is monotonous, thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work.

There are many who have no job.

Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances were not so modest, thank you, Lord, for life!

Have you thanked the Lord today?

Only in Texas...

When THANK YOU seems so small. (Virtual Baby Shower)

First of all, I want to give fair warning that as I am writing this I am on the verge of tears (again) so I am full aware that if there is any snot on my keyboard when I finish this post I cannot blame my kids this time (see post below).

I had asked Angel to send me the list of individuals who contributed to our Virtual Baby Shower because it really meant a lot to me to be able to thank each one of you personally (and if I missed you by chance it wasn't because I didn't try- I actually had 2 come back as undeliverable so I am going to hand write one to you). Anyway- I know that was a TON of work for Angel to do, keep track of, etc, etc and I want to say publicly how blessed I am to have such an amazing friend. For those of you who have never met Angel in person, trust me- she really is as she appears on her blog. ALL HEART. The REAL DEAL. ONE OF A KIND. An ANGEL. :0) And for her conspirators-Holly and Carolyn- the same thing. REAL. You inspire me and I love you guys!!!

As I opened each individual email from the contributors I couldn't help but to sit at my computer and let the tears flow...

Honestly- I. Am. Blown. Away.

Person after person who took the time to reach out and care about us- a family that many of them have never met in person or never even heard of at all before.

Person after person who do know us and still loved us anyway. ;0)

Person after person who worked hard for their money but gave of themselves, gave freely, and were willing to be God's hands and feet.

Person after person who I sat and prayed for individually and thanked God that there are people like that walking on this earth today...

Person after person who have a life, inevitably have faced trials and hardships in their lives, but still has faith and belief in the miracles of our God.

Person after person who I prayed that God would bless tenfold...

Person after person who have their own lives, their own dreams- and yet they took the time to encourage us and ours...

Person after person who forever changed our lives.

So while thank you really does seem so small in comparison to what YOU have given- may God bless you today and always for your hearts, your compassion and your willingness to ACT.

THANK YOU!!!

Who dun it... this time??

In light of the upcoming election here in a few days (GO VOTE!!) I thought I’d take our own little poll…
Awhile back my gracious blog readers helped me solve the mystery of who broke a piece of my beloved Guatemalan pottery. (Miss Aleigha was the culprit that time). Today I find myself at a loss once again for ‘who dun it’. Only this time it was not a piece of pottery….

Often times we are asked how our kids feel about being in a large family… people worry if each child gets enough individual attention, individual space, and enough one on one time. What people often don’t see is that there are a lot of benefits of being in a large family. Lots of support, lots of love, always someone to play with, someone to talk to… and always someone else to ‘blame it on’. Needless to say, we have a LOTS of ‘wasn’t me’s in this house. ;0)

One thing I love about being a mommy is seeing how different, how unique, God made each child. Kids just crack me up. They are creative, they see life in a way that I had forgotten, and they know how to have fun. Yet… they also do the dandiest things… Like for instance, wipe random boogers here and there throughout the house. (Anyone want to come visit us and stay for dinner?) :0) Today for instance I found a big ‘ol booger wiped on the wall right next to the toilet paper roll in the kids bathroom. Can I just ask WHY? TWO inches away was a entire roll of paper to place that pretty little booger in… but nooooooooooo we have to use the WALL instead!!
So where do you come in you ask? I need your help in solving the mystery of ‘Who dun it… this time’. Who wiped the booger on the wall???

So let’s get going… and cast those votes!!!

Was it…

Cultpit #1 “Wasn’t me Travis”
Age 18, Senior stud.
Known for playing rough with his younger siblings, loves football and girls. Often found at work, at football practice, school or in his discustingly messy room.

Was it…

Culprit #2 “Wasn’t me Keegan”
Age 16. Known for his sly smile and flirting techniques. New to the driving world and often found at school, football practice or in the closet talking to his girlfriend on the phone.

Was it…

Culprit #3 “Wasn’t me Addisyn”
Age 13.Known for her kind heart, observative nature and fierce competition on the court. Can often be found at school, volleyball practice, reading a book or hanging out with friends

Was it…

Culprit #4 “Wasn’t me Kallan”
Age 11
Known for his sweet disposition and knowing how to use it. Creative, quiet and a thinker. Can often be found playing football, playstation or at school

Was it…

Culprit #5 “Wasn’t me Mya”
Age 5. Known for her adorable dimples, curly hair and spunkiness. Loves life and making people laugh. Can often be found at school, or by Aleigha’s side. Likes to please people or tattle.

Was it…

Culprit #6 “Wasn’t me Aleigha”
Age 4

Known for her big eyes and sneaky ways. Can often by found by Mya's side, coloring, reading books or playing barbies.

Was it…

Culprit #7 “Wasn’t me Kaden”
Age 2
Known for getting his way, charming strangers, and incredible bear hugs.
Can often be found following his mama around the house, jumping on the trampline or getting into things he is not supposed to.

Ok- GO VOTE!!!!

The Name Game...

Seriously, coming up with five names that everyone in the family likes has not been an easy task. Not to mention I respectfully want to have the Fabulous Five's permission to 'rename' them. I know this is really touchy subject- lots of people feel that you should keep the child's 'given' name because they have had enough change in their lives. While I understand that- I am sort of on the 'other side of the fence' where I feel that it's a new start and they are my children now so I want to name them like I did all of our other children. Plus, Jesus himself gave people new names all the time! :0)Revelation 13:12: “Those who prove victorious I will make into pillars in the sanctuary of my God and they will stay there for ever; I will inscribe on them the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem which comes down from my God in heaven, and my own new name as well.”
So, we are 'planning' on keeping their given names as their middle names (If they agree to it) and as a family we came up with these new names. What do you think? (Oh and I really only want to hear what you think if you like them!) LOL ;0)
5 year old girl- Jayla
4 year old girl- Alayna
3 year old boy- Kai
2 year old boy- Jace
1 year old girl- Isabella

Lesson on Pride

A few weeks back I had a sweet Christian friend ask me in what ways I had seen God’s hand since saying yes to our fabulous five. (For those of you just joining in since I opened back up to private- we are in process of adopting a sibling group of five through the foster system). I’m embarrassed to admit that her question sort of woke me up and for that I am so thankful. You see, in the beginning I felt nothing but ‘overwhelmed’- or perhaps I should just say I was 'in a fog'. The decision was obviously huge and while we had prayed about it, talked about every possible scenario (at least that we could come up with) the fact is- there is just no way to predict the future. I honestly have no idea how to parent 12 children. No clue. I don’t know exactly what will work and what won’t work. Each child’s needs are so different, each child’s personality is unique. Yet down deep no matter what- all of us long to belong somewhere and all of us long to be loved and accepted the way we are. That I can do. :0)

So thankfully when my friend asked me about how God has been working in our lives I decided that it was time to open my eyes and really pay attention… and once again I am overwhelmed- but no longer in a fog. Overwhelmed that the King of Kings, Lord of Lords cares enough about me to supply all of our needs. Overwhelmed that God Himself listens to our desires and wants us to be happy. Overwhelmed that our Savior can use me- my past mistakes, my lack of faith, and my inexperience. From dressers to car seats, from pillows to clothes, from swing sets to baby showers -God’s people have reached out and been His hands and feet. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness… Yet through that gratefulness there was a war going on inside of me- a battle of my pride.

Pride.

I used to think that pride was a good thing. You know- we’ve all heard it "be proud- be strong.” Proud of our accomplishments, proud of your name, proud of who you are, proud of what you are. Strong. Independent. Self sufficient. We have been taught these things since we were knee high… and yet our God tells us something completely different. He tells us to rely on Him, to look to Him and only Him for the answers, that when we are weak- He are strong…

The flesh in me wanted to be able to do this in my own strength. To be good enough, strong enough, be ‘enough’ to provide for and parents these new children. I wanted to take these new kids, give them everything they needed, dress them in cute clothes and have their hair in just the right style. I wanted them to be happy, well adjusted and for everything to just fall into place. Or maybe what I really wanted was for everyone to stand back and say “Wow, she's got it all together-how does she do it?”
When I first saw the Virtual baby shower on my sweet friend Angel’s blog, I have to admit that after bursting into tears and being very humbled that these awesome ladies would care enough to do this… my pride started to ‘take over’ and my flesh began to kick in. I didn’t want people to think I couldn’t do this on my own. That I wasn’t good enough to handle it all or that we couldn’t provide for these kids on our own. But then I remembered… just the night before I had been on my knees before the Lord and telling Him of our needs. I had complained to Him that the need was so huge- overwhelming. I had confessed to Him (as if He didn’t already know) that I had no idea how we would pull it all together or how we would have enough tiem. And to be honest I don’t know if I really even believed He was listening or if I was just praying through the motions- working out my own plans in my head.
Yet I remember after praying I let myself be still before the Lord and I heard Him say “will you let me?”

Will you let me?

At the time I didn’t know what He meant...probably because I was still so busy making those plans… but now I do. There has been so many times in the past where my pride has literally stopped God from being able to work in my life. Times where I was too proud to say I was sorry- because that would mean I made a mistake. Times where I was too proud to let a friend see my real hurt- because that would mean I had flaws, and times where I was too proud to let someone help out- because that would mean I was weak. It would mean that I had faults, that I was a sinner… that I needed- a savior.

Wait- isn’t that what being a Christian is all about? Doesn’t being a Christian mean that I admit I cannot do it alone?

Will you let me?

His words kept coming back to my mind… I had prayed and asked Him to meet our needs and yet how did I expect Him to answer my prayers if it wasn’t through other people? I know I myself wrote a blog post on that- about God’s work getting done through us. About us being God’s hands and feet… and yet here I was- so full of myself, so full of pride that I actually thought I could do it on my own?
In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. Psalms 10:4 NIV

Dear heavenly father- please forgive me. Forgive me for playing god. Forgive me for the times I have hindered your work because I thought I was good enough to do it my way. I praise you for the amazing people you have brought in my life, for their example, their hearts, their faith in you. I thank you for loving me regardless of the mistakes I make and I thank you for teaching me more about you each and every day. I thank you for not only meeting our needs but blessing us beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I thank you for these precious new children you allowed to come into our lives and I praise you for those individuals who don’t even know us but were willing to be your hands and feet and reach out in love. I thank you for the precious ladies who put together our virtual baby shower- for the blessing of their friendship and that they could see through my pretence and pride and know our needs regardless. They are true example of your love.

It's official!!! Happy Adoption Day Kaden!

Today Mr. Kaden officially became our baby boy. He was already 'officially' in our hearts- but you know, the state wanted that 'official little document' so we happily obliged. What a wonderful day full of God's greatest gifts. Our judge was the sweetest and she let the entire family participate since he is loved by us all. We are so thankful for adoption- so thankful that his birth mother carried him to term, so thankful God allowed us to be this amazing little boys family. You bless us daily Kaden and we love you with all of our hearts (and that is a lot of love!) Happy Adoption Day sweet boy!

P.S I just opened my blog back up to public...

Pillows!!!

I know, I know- I am certainly not going to get any blogging awards. I just cannot seem to keep up! So much is going on in our lives right now- big stuff and little stuff. Just a lot to do! Kaden turned 2 years old on Tuesday and we finalize his adoption tomorrow! Yeah God! My parents and Todd's parents are coming to visit and go to his adoption. We feel so blessed to have them be a part of his special day.

I have had a few people ask me if we have seen God's hand at work since saying yes to our new children- that I refer to as our 'fabulous five''. Boy have we ever! I could tell you story after story already of God's faithfulness- but for today I will share this one...

The other day I was walking through the house and out of the blue "Pillows" popped into my head. Pillow! We need five more pillows. I don't know why- but it was just something that I hadn't though of yet so I added that to our list of needs for the new kiddo's. Then- within a few hours my dear friend Angel forwards me a email she had received since she was hosting our Virtual baby shower (which in itself has been a MIND BLOWING blessing!). Anyway- this email is from a sweet, sweet lady that I do not even know. More than likely will never even get to meet face to face in this world, yet she emailed wanting to bless us with a $50 gift card to Bed, Bath and Beyond! She had figured there might be something from there we would need. Does our God Rock or what? Thank you Lord for our pillows!!! May these precious five children that you blessed us with lay their heads on these pillows each night feeling comforted by your grace and love always.

Philippians 4:19—And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.