Little fish

It has been hot, hot, HOT here in Texas which means we have spent countless hours in the water...

Which means, two little boys have who love the water are turning into fish...

And fish know how to swim really good... with no floaties! :0)

Uniquely you

You make everything more beautiful....

This past weekend I took the girls out for a little photo shoot. I am so in awe of how God put our family together and I absolutely love how each one of our children is beautiful in their own way. Each child is different in color, body shape and size- yet they are all uniquely beautiful.

But more than anything what completely blows me away is their inside beauty- and I couldn't be more proud to be their mom. :0)

Happy Father's Day

If I had to do it all again-

I'd choose you...


Thank you for being the BEST father in the world. Thank you for loving our children with all that you are and all that you have. Thank you for putting God first and for being that kind of example to our children. Thank you for loving us and expecting nothing in return. Thank you for being you so that we can grow to know Him better.

I love you with all of my heart...
***And to MY daddy. I love you Dad. I cannot thank you enough for all that you taught me about life and about what truly matters. You are such an inspiration to me. Thank you for being a wonderful Grandpa and loving us just the way we are.
I love you- hope you feel better soon. Miss you like crazy!

I believe in miracles...

Some people don't believe that Jesus still in the miracle business today.

But I do, because one happened today in front of my very eyes...

This little boy 'officially' became our son. No more silly heart stickers covering his sweet face. I'd like to introduce you to our amazing gift from God~ Carson.

(sorry about the quality of the video in the beginning... it was the only copy I had after my lap top was stolen)

As the scars fade...

Everyone who knows me knows I am passionate about adoption. I love a good happily ever after. But I also know that there is a part of adoption that we don't really like to think about. A part that does not include 'happy'- the part that our children have to live with~ loss.

As my children get older and start to process exactly all that 'adoption' entails-the questions become deeper and harder to answer as they begin to try to understand. I truly believe that at some point or another 'most' adopted children will have to come to terms with the past and deal with 'loss'. And loss of course can be very painful.

While out of respect for my children I try to keep their story their own- I also believe with all of heart that to truly live a Christ filled life we have to be willing to share our hurts, trials and pains- in order to help someone else- and that will be crucial to their healing. So because my children's story is in part 'my' story I will share 'my experiences' in adopting an 'older' child who is dealing right now with the loss.

We adopted Mya from Guatemala when she was just 2 months shy of 4 years old. She lived in an orphanage there for approximately 8 months. She vividly remembers her birthmom and the life she had there. But what she does remember is the day her birthmom left her- along with the pain and the loss. And that pain carries with it insecurities- and those insecurities carry tendencies to lie, please at all cost, and hide what is truly inside.

And I am beginning to realize that the scars run deeper than I ever had a clue.

Now I will fully admit that while I have tried my hardest, I am quite sure I have not always handled raising a child with this degree of loss as perfectly as I could have. While I have read book after book and sought advice after advice- the truth is, what works for one child doesn't always work for another. So, I try and then try again. Some days it is truly exhausting. Other days I see progress and I am over joyed. Yet regardless of the day- what I do know is that God personally assigned me this job and it is a privilege. And I know that it is okay if I don't have all of the answers right now. I know that what is important is that I am here for her.

The thing is with children who have experienced such loss- the scars run deeply and sometimes we don't realize that the ways they respond to certain situations are due to the scars that are present deep within. When a child has a broken arm it would be silly for us to expect them to lift weights with such an injury. It is the same as a child with a deeply wounded scar. There are just some things we cannot expect for them to do the same. While the scar may not be visible on the outside- it is still there and we must treat it with extra care and love. We must give this child grace- and give them a place where we do not rush the healing. And it is crucial we provide an opportunity for them to feel safe and allow them to process the past.

Mya has been home close to 4 years and still her #1 fear is that I will abandon her. Still. No matter how many times I have told her I will never leave her- that fear is still very real and very scary to her. Because this fear is still so alive and real to her-once again it effects her and runs over into our everyday lives.

One thing I have learned is that no matter what I cannot take the way she responds in fear personal. Actually, in the past I have posted notes around the house that say 'do not take it personal' as a reminder- because parenting a hurt child is hard.

And I have found that it is even more important for me to stay close to the Lord and His guidance for the answers. Because they are right there in His word. And I truly believe that He word will be the one thing that will finally be able to bring complete healing to my precious daughter.

I trust with my entire heart that God will be able to take those scars and turn them into something beautiful. Because the reality is-none of us are going to make it through this world without scars. None of us are going to have days without pain. But what we do with those scars and how we use the pain we have experienced is what is important.
Last night I sat watching Mya ride her bike around the front yard, proud of her accomplishments of riding with no training wheels. I loved watching her overcome the fear and jump on that bike and go. That is my deepest desire for her life.

I pray daily that she will continue to grow closer to God and discover that His love is more than enough.

It isn't always easy and while I fully admit I don't have all of the answers- I am so thankful I serve a God that does. And I trust as she grows God will heal those scars and replace the loss...
and she will bloom and grow.

Creativity with what you have

I confess to not being the most creative person in the world. But raising a large family sometimes means we have to be. Awhile back Aleigha and Mya fell in love with these shoes.

I am not one to run right out and purchase everything my kids want- but I did think they were kind of cute too and the girls were in need of new shoes. The problem was our clothing budget didn't allow for 2 pairs of shoes in that price range (thank you Dave Ramsey). So, we had to get creative and make our own.

What we ended up with were these...
two happy little Guatemalan girls, 2 pairs of shoes for $8.00 each and some quality bonding time.

It breaks my heart to see so many families living in debt now a days. Trust me we have been there done that- and made our share of mistakes. I think often times we are tricked into believing that we have to have it all and do it all- to be happy.

Trust me again- things do not bring happiness.

Todd and I, plus 9 kids live on one average income. We decided some time back that we didn't want to live in debt any longer -instead we wanted to be able to serve God the way we felt called. It had become too easy to us to make the excuse that we didn't have anything to give- but hard for us to realize it was because we were overspending- on ourselves.

Todd and I have learned to see money in such a different way. We now see each and every dollar as a seed-we can either spend in on ourselves (and more worthless 'stuff') or we can sow it on others and see God's kingdom grow.

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Galatians 6:7

It took a long time for us to learn- a long time for us to see the difference between our needs and our wants. But God in all his goodness is patient and faithful and we are learning more with each day. We are definitely not keeping us with the Jones- and I love that. Love that we are who we are- love that we live simple and that feels good.

Thank you God for showing us a creative way to enjoy the blessings you have given us-without the stress of debt. You are so good.

Conversation with Kaden following his afternoon nap...

"Hey mom- Jesus was in my room. He tapped me on the shoulder and said 'wake up'. So, I gave him a big HIGH FIVE and then a hug. I love my Jesus."

I want to give Jesus a BIG high five too- for letting me be his mom. :D

Pass it Foward adoption Fund- Take 2

If you look over to the left of my blog at the chip in button you will notice it changed.

Last week I passed forward $10,000 that was raised from the Pass It Forward Adoption Fund (AKA Abby's Wish) to the Riggs family to begin their Ethiopian adoption. If you are new to my blog- you can read how the Pass It Forward Adoption fund got started here. I cannot thank all of you who contributed enough. Because of YOU- there will be one less orphan in this world. I have loved getting to know so many of you and have been so touched by your stories and your hearts for orphans.

Our original goal was to raise $20,000 to pass forward for someone else's adoption- and that goal has not changed. However, the Riggs family will only be taking $10,000 of it to pass forward and the other $10,000 I will be raising to pass forward to another family (or perhaps divided between several other families). The Riggs will also eventually be raising another $10,000 to pass onto another family in the future -to keep the idea going.

Often times the one thing that holds a family back from saying yes to adoption is the money. But I truly believe with my entire heart that if we take that first step God will provide. Sometimes we have to work like crazy fundraising- on our knees the entire time- and other times it comes in ways we never expected. But no matter how God chooses to supply- we learn and we grow and our lives are forever changed. Growth can be scary and sometimes even painful- but always necessary if we are to do His work.

I am also passionate about the adoption community coming together and supporting each other through the adoption process. Even if we don't have a lot to contribute financially, we can always offer fund raising idea's, prayer, and encouragement. Sometimes just knowing someone is there and someone else 'gets it' is huge.

I am going to continue to pray and try to come up with more idea's on how to raise the next $10,000- but I feel completely confident that it will eventually come in- because God said so- and He always keeps His promises. :0) Thank you again for the sacrifices you made and the work you put into helping a child find their way home.

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."
Proverbs 16:3

Finding time for it all

Often I forget that not everybody has 9 children. I know that sounds crazy- but having a big family just feels normal to me. We simply have more plates to set at the table, more laundry to wash and more laughter to be heard. I couldn't image life any other way.

So when I feel the stares and hear "Boy do you have your hands full" for the 300th time in a week- I guess I start to realize that maybe our life is not as normal as I thought. :D

Last week I had a reader email me and ask me to share what our everyday life was like. Share how we manage life with nine kids and get it all done- their schedules, household chores, time together as a couple, individual time with our kids, extra curricular activities, quiet time, grocery shopping, doctors appointments and even blogging.

First I want to start by saying that we by no means 'get it all done' like I wish we could. Often times there are more dust bunnies than I want to admit. Often times the laundry and stacks of papers pile up to an overwhelming amount. I guarantee that if you stopped by our house you would definitely find way less than perfection. And, I am okay with that. Because perfect people are over rated if you ask me- and it's no fun to be around them. ;0) Anyway, if having to have it all together and having to be perfect would mean we would adopt less- then I don't want anything to do with perfection.

There was a time where I would have measured my success in life the way the world does- a big house, new car, dinner on the table by 6:00, size 5 jeans, and being the very best at it all. But the Lord has taught me that those things were really all about 'me' and not at all about Him. He taught me that He doesn't need a perfect person for the job- because HE is perfect. He just needs someone who is willing (no matter how imperfect they may feel).

In all honesty, even when we had two children, I had days when I couldn't get it all done. Days were I forgot things and days where the dishes piled up. Days where I didn't know where I would fit a dentist appointment in- let alone time with the Lord. That is just a part of living. We try our best- but somehow we cannot seem to get it all done just the way we'd like.

I realize that I am not really answering the question of how we 'do' life as a big family- but I really wanted to remind other mommies that none of us have it all together all of the time- and that's okay. Remembering back to my childhood I can't remember if my mom always had the laundry caught up or if my dad always got his to do list done... what I remember are the times my mom spend reading Raggedy Ann and Andy to me snuggled in her bed. What I remember are the times that my dad took me up on top of the grain elevator in Illinois he managed and we would stand side by side and look at the world below. Those are the things that mattered- that I felt safe and loved.

Now to try to answer the question...

Over the years I have learned to say 'no' a lot. Even though there are LOTS of good things I could choose to do with my time- I have learned to stay focused on the things that God has for me. So while being involved in the PTO is a good thing- if it isn't what God has for me right now at this time in our lives, it is okay to say no- and not feel guilty.

Chore wise- at our house everyone is involved. I believe it is my job as a parent to teach my children to be responsible and teach them to have pride in their work. Every person, from the smallest to the tallest at our house has jobs they can do. We work together to make our home run smoothly. We do '25 thing pick up' often through out the day to keep the house uncluttered. I also think it's important to teach them how rewarding it is to serve one another. Makes for a good spouse one day as well. I think a lot of times parents believe if they 'give' their child everything and 'do' everything for their child that they are being 'good' parents. I believe that in reality we are just robbing our children of becoming self sufficient and teaching them that the whole world is there to serve them. Can you imagine being married to someone like that?

Another thing we keep to a minimum is extra curricular activities. While we all want our kids to discover their strengths and talents- I think that often times we go overboard. Our kids are run from soccer practice to singing lessons to boy scouts. This allows little time for family and for just being a kid. Families spend huge amounts of money each year on lesson and more lessons- and our kids are run ragged- while quality time with their parents is lost.

As for grocery shopping. We try to do the big once a month shopping- and use a monthly menu. You can see a sample here. In between we just do a quick stop when necessary for milk and fresh produce. We keep meals simple and everyone helps with the cooking and clean up. I also use the crock pot as often as I can.

Todd and I are also blessed with some amazing big kids who love to spend time with their younger siblings. We are able to occasionally get away for a quiet dinner together or even just a walk- although we try to never take advantage of that. Our big kids are just that- kids. And, it is our responsibility to be parents- we do not expect them to be constant baby sitters.

Another thing we have always done is have early bed times. On school nights the little kids are in their beds by 7:00 and can read (or look at books if they are too young to read) until 7:30- then lights out. That gives us time in the evening alone.

To ensure we have enough one on one time with our kid- we often have a different child stay up with us for that 30 minutes between 7 and 7:30 and we just spend time cuddling and talking with them. When Carson first moved into our family we did that a lot with him. We would rock him and sing to him and just tell him how much we loved him. While he loved his new siblings we really wanted him to get a lot of one on one time with just Todd and I. It really paid off and he has bonded like a champ.

All in all, we just do what works best for our family- and some time that changes. Some times we need to take a step back and reevaluate the way we are spending our time and ask God what He would have us do with our day. Ask Him to show us clearly what is most important to Him. With our oldest in college we know how quickly the times goes and we try to see the gift in each day we are given- even when we mess them up. ;0)

Whew!

Okay, so I am really, really, really, really, REALLY ready for school to be out for summer. This past couple of weeks have been CRAZY busy. Between Havyn's OT and speech appointments, Keegan's prom, end of school stuff, Memorial Day weekend and today Aleigha's kindergarten graduation- we have been nonstop on the go. Thought I'd share it all in pictures. :0)

Also, I have been really praying about home schooling Mya and Aleigha next year. We have wonderful schools where we live but there is just so much more I'd love to be teaching them and there is just not enough time with them gone all day long at school. If any of you home schooling moms have any wonderful words of wisdom to share I'd love to hear them. :0)

"A child fills a place in your heart you never knew was empty."
~author unknown