Why time is truly our most precious gift

There have been times in my life where I have been guilty of wishing my time away... wishing that a day would just be over, or perhaps wishing I could jump ahead in time 6 months or so(especially when we were waiting to bring our adopted children home). But today- today I would have literally frozen time if I could have. Stayed in this exact moment and just sat back and soaked in every minute of it over and over. I did- the best I could- I soaked in every minute we had- but somehow I can't help but to feel that it will never be enough. I have a feeling that is probably exactly how the Riggs feel on a daily basis.
We had a very special little person visit our house today... Precious Abby Riggs. Only precious doesn't even begin to describe how amazing this little girl is. Not only is she beautiful, SWEET, strong, FUNNY, and unbelievably amazing- her laugh- her smile- can literally grab your heart in a moments time. It had been a while since we had gotten to spend time with Michelle and Abby so seeing them was such a gift. While my heart broke to see Abby so sick- especially seeing how her little hands shake and seeing how weak her little body was... what struck me most was how STRONG her spirit is regardless of what she faces. Those who read the Riggs Blog get to see a small glimpse into their lives and how huge their faith is... what they don't get to see is how real this family is. Their example, their hearts, their faith -touches you to the very core. Knowing the Riggs family-knowing Abby- has changed us. Watching them face each day with whatever comes their way, with such dignity, such love- makes me want to be more than I ever thought I could be. Please continue to pray for this beautiful family. Pray for Abby to be healed completely and pray for God to continue to change lives through them. I am so thankful for their friendship and thankful for the time we have with them all. We love you guys!!! Princess Abby

Addisyn and beautiful Sami
Thank you Leslie for coming over today and spending time with us! I know Michelle and Abby both loved spending time with you guys and we always do too!

Kallan and Abby

Abby and her mommy sharing a laugh

Abby and her new #67th boyfriend Travis (trust me she charms all the boys!)

Abby and Mya (Mya and Abby's brother Landis were in Eagles Nest orphanage together)

Mya, Aleigha, Abby and Eli~ our Guatemalan groupies

Abby, Aleigha, Lainey, Jace, Mya, and Jayla

Aleigha and Abby

Addisyn and Abby

Aleigha, Abby and Mya

Abby feeling the love. ;0)

Things that make me smile

Just to prove what an amazing mommy my sister Jenny is and what a cool family she has I had to share this today. Today they are having Mario's 10th birthday party- celebrating Mario's 1st birthday in their family, his first birthday party- and his first birthday cake EVER. So to make up for the birthday cakes he never had- they decided to have one for each year he (and they) missed! How sweet is that?? My sister Jenny and family adopted this precious little boy almost a year ago through a disrupted adoption. Mario is from Mexico and he is an ABSOLUTE TREASURE. He's sweet, obviously gorgeous, well mannered, funny and one of the coolest little boys I have ever met! I am so blessed to have this little boy in my extended family. Wish my big old family could be there to eat all those cakes with you Mario! WE LOVE YOU ALL!! (and Jen thanks for being the kind of mommy you are- I am so proud of you and learn so much from you every day!!)

Too cool

You can't help but to be 'cool' when you have big brothers!

Life experiences

For Christmas the kid’s aunt and uncle sent us a check to buy them Christmas gifts. They said they were not sure what they needed so they thought it would be easier for us to do the shopping. After some discussion Todd and I decided what the kids needed more than anything were ‘life experiences’. There are just so many things they have never gotten to do or experience- so many things we take for granted on a daily basis. So, we loaded up all 11 of them and headed to big city of Dallas. We took the kids to see the Cotton bowl parade in downtown Dallas -which they loved. After that we went to dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. Now going ‘out’ to dinner was a new experience for them all together. Going to a restaurant where elephants trumpet and the crack of lightening and thunder bolts surround you was something else. So after about 20 minutes of Todd and I convincing them that they were not going to get rained on and that the elephants were just pretend they finally believed us and settled in to enjoy. (Okay, so I admit maybe it was a rather ‘wild’ place to take them for their first big outing- but we had to show them there really were more exciting restaurants out there then McDonalds.) We did a lot of coaching on manners, reminded them how important it was to thank the people who were waiting on us and to sit like ladies and gentlemen in our chairs (and not climb under the tables) and then they even got to ordered themselves. They were so proud! After we finished up our wonderful meal - we checked into the Embassy Suites Hotel. They were so excited to be there that they were actually jumping up and down- that is, until they met the elevator face to face.

Not just any elevator-an all glass elevator.

An all glass elevator that went all the way up 10 floors.

An all glass elevator that you could not only feel moving- but see moving.

Yep. You guess it... the elephants were no longer their biggest fear…

So, after convincing them we could not go to the swimming pool until we got onto that all glass elevator that would take us up to our rooms where we could change into our bathing suits- they finally stepped on. (Yes by now pretty much every single person in the entire hotel was staring at us- and yes we did realize we had 'quite a crew'- just in case they thought they were the only ones who had ever said that to us. :0)

It took about 12 times up and down, up and down, up and down, but they finally discovered that this thing called an elevator was not going to hurt them in any way shape or form- and that it was actually kind of fun! We clapped and jumped when it went up- we squealed with delight and counted numbers as it went down. (And I am happy to say that by the time we checked out they were regulars to the elevator thing).
After our elevator experience we enjoyed the pool which thankfully wore them all out for a good nights sleep. The next morning we headed down to the all you can eat breakfast buffet- and let me tell you, these kids can EAT.

Like linebackers.

Took them about 2 hours- but they definitely got their full. Food is a HUGE deal to them. HUGE. As a matter of fact, when they first moved in that was one of their big fears- the girls actually asked us if we ate every day. I promised them we always had food- and plenty of it. But even now all meals have to be served on time and they ask me over and over through out the day what we will be having for dinner. They eat anything and everything and usually seconds and thirds.
We headed home in the afternoon and in the back seat I could hear them talking and giggling about what their favorite part of their ‘vacation’ had been. I couldn’t help but smile. Yes we were tired, yes it had been work packing for 13 and work comforting the little ones through their fears. But seeing their joy- seeing them grow in confidence and live like normal, healthy children- was one of the best gifts in this world.

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full”. John 10:10

Father, thank you for giving your life so that we could have life and have it to the fullest. Through you we find joy and purpose- a quality of life that is impossible any other way.

May 2009 bless your socks off!!!

Happy New Year! I hope that 2009 God blesses you like no other year in your life!
My prayer for you is that in 2009 you give all that you are and all that you have to God and see what He does with your life. May the life you live honor and glorify the one who made you so beautiful.
In Revelations 20:12-13 is says that we are all moving toward a day in which we will be judged: "The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books". One day you and I will stand before the Lord and He will look at how we lived our lives- what we did with the time that He blessed us with. My challenge for you is to really take a good look at your life~ none of us are perfect, and God is not asking us to be. He knows we are not already. But what He wants is your obedience, your willingness, your heart. He wants you to desire Him above all else. In a world full of so many opportunities it is easy to find ourselves headed down the wrong path and not even know it. The road may appear like the right one- exciting, fun, successful, even safe- but is it the road that God wants you on? Is your road- your life’s journey, worth something to God or is it simply all about you- your wants and your needs? Often times in the past I was held back by my own desires of how I wanted my life to look, believing I really had some say… If the Lords call didn’t ‘look’ the way I had pictured it, if it involved more giving, more pain, more sacrifice then I had envisioned- I bolted- headed down a different path- hoping down that road I would find what I was looking for. And you know what- the funny thing was- God let me. He let me wonder, let me continue to look-always searching- but never being completely fulfilled. He let me remain lost, remain empty-all the while giving me the time I needed to grown until I was finally able to say “Yes Lord- have your way” and mean it. My life today is nothing at all how I once would have chosen it to look-but you know what- it’s the way God planned it to be- and I am so very, very blessed. He knew all along what I couldn't see it.

I was reading a blog post the other day and came across this comment a reader posted. I happen to know the person to left this comment and I couldn’t help but be blown away by her words. She gave me permission to post it on my blog. (Thanks Lisa- you rock!) I hope it touches your heart like they did mine.

The blogger had asked this question (which of course caught my attention). She asked: Are there some people who are cut out to have a lot of kids and some who aren't? And here is what Lisa H. wrote:

"I'll jump in on the question regarding being cut out to have a large family. I think the question is really "How is God wanting to use my life?" I don't think that God has called us all to have large families, but I think He has called us all to have a place where we get our hands dirty and our lives messy in meeting the needs of hurting people. It might be ministry to single moms, prisoners, the poor, the homeless, widows, inner city kids, immigrants, the sick, etc..., but SOMEWHERE God has a place for each of us to serve that will complicate our lives, and our homes, and our personal space and time....AND that place will be a place where we know a special kind of fulfillment and satisfaction and where we are used to have eternal impact. For the lucky ones of us, it's the call to parent children who need families! :o)Yes, that call has involved giving up personal time and space, living in a home that rarely reflects the ideal I have in my mind, and feeling a little over-stimulated, even, at times, from the comings and goings of our crew. But I KNOW that this is the call of God on my life and our family, and even in my worst moments, I know I'd never choose to miss the precious children God has brought to our family for a little more personal time or a more magazine worthy home.
Last summer I had the afternoon "off" as my husband cared for our children. I went out to lunch and sat in the sun at an outdoor cafe while I sipped tea and read a magazine. After a while, I thought, "This is great! I needed this!....But this is nothing to build a life around!" and I was ready to go home, and be back in the game with my family.
We are all unique creations and we have different needs for space, quiet, order, etc. We need to respect these limits and live within them. But we need to be sure that we're not resisting God's desire to stretch us and push us out of our comfort zones as He enlarges our hearts to love the world through us. It's a hard, painful process but the end result is JOY, for us and for those we're called to love... I think if we are faithful to ask God His intentions and to be seeking His wisdom with open hearts, then He will show us which situation applies to us. My .02 on a great question!"

Lisa H. Mom to 7

Can’t wait to see what 2009 brings for you!!! Love, Amy

Parenting all kinds of kids

Found this link off of another blog (thanks Laura!) and I absolutely LOVED the parenting tips on here! Check it out!! http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/ch12.asp

Learning how to just be a kid

One thing that I noticed right away with our new kiddo's- especially the older 2, was that they really didn't know how to 'play'. You know, just let loose, let your imagination run wild kind of play that only kids can do. What I realized along with that, was that they didn't really know how to be normal kids. Having spent most of their little lives in survival mode I don't think play was something that they had a lot of time to do. From the stories they have shared so far- I have come to realize they had little time to just enjoy the simple things in life. I remember when our 4 oldest kids were growing up I loved watching them play "make believe". I remember once Travis and Keegan stripped down to their undies, rolled in the mud, camouflaged themselves and played army men in the back yard for hours. I remember watching Addisyn dress like a princess and put on an elaborate pretend tea party with her baby dolls that would have put Cinderella to shame. But for our new kids- life didn't offer those care free days... if they played make believe- it was to make believe that none of what had actually just happened to them really had.

Survival.

These kids are survivors.

We have spent a lot of time lately trying to convince them that they are safe now and also to teach them how to just 'be a kid'. So today my sweet Kallan took them out in the backyard, in the sunshine, and they built Indian Tepees out of the new blankets their aunt Jenny gave them. They set up the fire pit for an Indian feast, collected their berries, painted their faces and played for hours.
No crying.
No pouting.
No fears.
Just simple, delightful, child's play...
And there was nothing more precious to see.

"Because you are children, God has sent the spirit of his Son into our hearts". -Galatians 4:6

Moments we cherish

My awesome sister Jenny and her beautiful family came to visit us from Illinois and got to meet our new kids- Jayla, Lainey, Kai and Jace. We treasure every minute we get to spend with them. Her kids are amazing, sweet and beautiful inside and out. We also got to celebrate Mario's 10th birthday while they were here. We ate pizza and cake and swam at the pool to celebrate his special day. What a neat bond that our adopted kids share knowing that their cousin was adopted too!
Our visits always seem way too short and go by way too quickly but we are so thankful to have for precious family
in our lives. We love you guys!!

Hair 101

Okay, I know you experienced hair people are probably doubled over laughing- but I tried my hardest and at least it seemed to please Lainey and Jayla! :0) My awesome new friend Angie sent me this really great hair product from Carol's Daughter called "Hair Milk" and it's really helping get the girls hair back into shape. They have so many broken pieces that it's really hard to braid- so I had to do flat twist instead of corn rows. I also added some beads to their bangs which was a new thing for me too.

Guess what's sitting out in our driveway???

And who would have thought I would be so excited about driving a 15 passenger van?? But I am!! No more climbing over 3 rows of seats to buckle in seven kids for me baby! Thank you God for answering our prayer!! (and thank you to all of you who were helping us search!) We found this awesome Chevy Express that was gently used locally on Craigslist. The people selling it were awesome and didn't have a need for it anymore. We got a GREAT deal too! It was so fun driving to church today all together in one vehicle and let me tell you-there were some cute faces smiling back at me in that rearview mirror today!

Merry Christmas to all!!

There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.

And this is why I blog...

There have been several times where I have considered not blogging anymore... reasons like lack of time, or feeling like I am being 'judged' by others or perhaps sharing more than maybe I should. Then add in the part about not being allowed to share pictures of our new kiddo's (which is of course my favorite thing!) it just makes me wonder if I should even bother. Today I received this email with a picture included of this beautiful, precious family and I knew that without a doubt this is the real reason I blog. If anything I can share even helps bring one child home it was worth it all.

Amy, I have been praying about adoption for two years now. It seems like FOREVER! My biggest prayer has been that my husband would get on board. Today marks and answer to prayer for me as I had him read a part of your blog. I myself started reading two days ago. A friend of mine is fostering to adopt and started up a blog. She emailed me asking me to pray for her and I broke down and told her I had been praying about adoption for two years. She told me about your blog and said it is amazing. I do have to agree with her on that! What I have read so far is like a breath from God. :) God is using you in the blog to talk to me and whoever else reads it. Thank you for that. Anyway.... ask I was saying, I had my husband read part of your blog, your adoption story on Mya and Aleigha. It touched me so much, I thought it would speak to him as it did me. Well... IT DID! We talked and he said I should start looking further into adoption. :) God has answered one prayer today that I have been praying about for 2 YEARS! Praise God!!!!!! Now.... the hard part... to find an agency, figure out where God is calling us to adopt from, and start the process. This is my prayer request I ask of you. I just got done reading your prayer request blog. :) I ask you to pray we are guided to the right agency and for God to speak to us on where we will find our forever daughter. Currently we have 4 biological children. They are all boys. Ages 10, 8, 7 and just about 4. I love them dearly, but know God is calling us to have a little girl in our lives. I also have always thought we would just adopt a 3 year old, but God has also put on my heart that a little girl 4 and under would be just fine as well. Thank you again for your blog. I am not done reading as of yet!!!! I am still looking forward to all of 2008! Hugs to you and will be praying for you as well and would love to have something specific to pray about if you would like. Sincerely, Mary

Would you all join me in prayer for this sweet family who is just starting out on this amazing journey of adoption? Pray that they hear the Lord clearly, pray that He guides their steps and provides for them financially and holds them emotionally. Also I pray for any of you who are uncertain whether or not to take the first step... the need is the call. Go for it!!

Learning as we go...

We are learning so much every day with adding these amazing children into our family. Our caseworker asked me the other day how it was ‘really’ going and if there was anything she could have done differently to better prepare us.

Honestly, there was not.

All in all, things are going well- but that can and does change from moment to moment. There have been fleeting moments where I have thought to myself “what in the world did we do?” And then not 5 minutes later I know that I wouldn’t have it any other way. So while it has been hard- and I won’t deny that… I’d do it again in a heartbeat. The funny thing is- the things that I worried about and thought would be hard have not. And then the things I didn’t think twice about have been.

I’m not sure if there is ever any way you could prepare yourself for adding 4 children to your family at once... Actually, come to think of it- there is really no way you could ever prepare yourself for anything that comes your way in your life.

We humans try though don’t we?

We think that we can actually have things all perfectly lined up, planned out- and then real life hits. God knows this though- He knows we try to ‘control’ things, knows we want things to go our way, knows we want things to be easy and comfortable. But if life always went that way then we would think we could live without Him, we wouldn’t realize how much we need God. We all know that when things get really hard that is when we turn to God because it finally hits us that we cannot do it on our own. While I don’t think God wants us to struggle- He allows struggles, and from the struggles we learn to trust Him more. We learn to try to do things on our own less… at least that is until the next time. ;0)

I have found that the best thing I can do to prepare myself for the day is to start off on my knees. Now I’ve always known this- but actually doing it has been another thing. I’m embarrassed to admit that often times that extra 10 minutes of sleep wins over spending time with the Lord. I am learning though…

A couple things I had originally worried about was how to feed 11 children (and 2 adults) and also if the kids would get along with each other. I am happy to report that those 2 areas are going amazingly well. Food is a BIG deal with these kids. HUGE. We have to have the food prepared and ready to serve on by at least 5:00 sharp. But they eat anything and every single time tell me it the best thing they have ever had. (and trust me when I say I am not a great cook!) They also eat a lot. I have learned to just keep things simple for now- and at least double or sometimes triple the recipe. We have a couple huge pots and pans and we are ready to go. We also now have 2 dinner prayers we say together- the girls and then ours. :0)

It has also been a huge blessing is how well the kids are getting along. (I pray that stays the same with 4 girls in their teenage years!) Honestly though, I think that is something that we have to teach our children- to always talk nicely, always respect each other and other peoples belongings and while it’s ok to be angry at someone it is never, ever okay to speak unkindly. We have a zero tolerance rule for not treating each other in a kind way. Now I will admit that there has been some jealousy between the girls- like who gets to sit next to mommy when we read a bedtime story and I don’t dare praise one without praising the others. But all in all they seem to really genuinely like each other and that has been so nice. They play well together, have many of the same likes and dislikes, and do an amazing job of sharing. I am really proud of them all.

The boys are a lot more laid back than the girls, but we have seen some significant delays with them so we have had to spend a lot of extra time in trying to help them ‘catch up’.

Some hard things we were not prepared for was of course the pain of the loss of not getting the baby. This we were totally blindsided by, but trying to trust God, while still enduring the constant painful reminders. Yet we know we must continue to pray as Job prayed: "Teach me what I cannot see" (Job 34:32). God says there is a purpose in everything we go through and we are trying to remember that God is going to reveal things to us through this that we never would have learned had we not gone through this trial. This too was a part of our calling and even though we know Satan was an instrument in this- God is always bigger than Satan's afflictions.

Another trial has been the exhaustion. There have been days where I have gone without a shower (pretty thought I know) there was literally just no time left between hugging away a hurt and nursing them through the constant sickness we have been hit with in our house- flu, pink eye, pneumonia, cough, colds, then repeats.:0)

Those are the things I didn’t prepare myself for… the utter exhaustion and then the guilt of still wondering if it would ever be enough. There were/are days where I feel like the life is being drained from me. Yet then there are the moments where I can see the change in them, feel them starting to reach out to me, to take one tiny baby step towards authentic bonding. Times where they wrap their little arms around me and lay their warm cheeks on my shoulder and trust me enough to let them wipe away their many, many tears. Moments where they have opened up to me about the painful experiences in their past… times where I see such a longing, such a hope in their eyes that it pierces me to the depths of my soul.

Through this all though it’s funny, and at the same time sad, that I literally have to make an effort to stop and count my blessings- but I do. Sometimes I admit I get so caught up in the moment, so wrapped up in my exhaustion, in the work ahead, in the hard parts- the fears of failure- that I loose focus on how blessed we really are. I so wish that being grateful came naturally to me- but it doesn’t always. It has been a lesson for all of us here. Change is hard, whether it’s good or bad change, and it’s easy to focus on the hard parts instead of the plan that God is unraveling before our very eyes.

All in all, through this emotional rollercoaster, God is faithful and we honestly are doing really well. We still have a long road ahead of us of healing- and real bonding takes time… but I also know that God is taking care of us. He is there, often times through many of you- holding us up when we feel like crumbling through your encouraging words, your prayers and your support. Our lives have changed drastically- theirs and ours- but it’s a good change and I wouldn’t want it any other way. :0)

Christmas Parade

Saturday night we took the kids to the Christmas parade that our little town puts on. They were so excited and couldn't quit talking about how they had seen the 'real' Santa all the way home!

Learning how to do the girls hair has been just a little challenging for me. Since I am not ready to attempt corn rows yet I thought we had come up with a really great solution when I found these cute little clip on pony tails. That was, until I kept finding them pretty much everywhere except for on the girls heads...

Like on Kaden...

And on Keegan...

And even on the dog...

Do you think they are trying to tell me something?

Wanted to Clarify

I want to thank each one of you for your sweet words of encouragement and support. You have no idea how much that means. I know this system can be confusing but I do want to clarify that CPS (Child Protective Services) WAS ON OUR SIDE. They were fighting for us to get the baby and have her placed in our home with her siblings- forever. The kids were presented to us as a sibling group of five because CPS determined the children would thrive most effectively when placed together in an adoptive family. It was their wish that they remain together, the 3 separate foster families involved agreed and the adoption was set in motion. Then, the foster family of the baby decided just days before placement into our home that they wanted to keep her. (they didn't want to adopt the 4 older children just the baby). So, they hired an attorney who went to court against the CPS attorney to try for permanent custody of the baby. They won. We were not allowed to hire our own attorney because we did not have legal standing (we were just the 'wanna be' adoptive parents trying to make things right for these kids that have already lost so much). The foster family however DID have legal standing to hire an attorney because the baby had been in their home for over a year. Now I will say there are things that CPS should have done (like a find a foster home where they could be together all along or do weekly visits between the siblings) but they did not. (They did visits but not as often as they should have for the judges liking). Therefore, the judge ruled that the sibling bonds were not as strong as the her bonds to her foster family. Looking over it now, in my view there were many mistakes made along the way. The system is not perfect. Humans are not perfect. All I can say is as I held our new children today and watched the tears run down their faces with yet another loss in their young lives- I found it even harder to find a way to help them believe that we too are not ever going to leave them.

When your heart is broken...

Have you ever felt like you heard God clearly and then everything comes crashing down at once and you begin to doubt yourself and sometimes even Him?

We just got the call from the CPS worker that the baby would indeed spend the rest of her life with her foster family and not be joining our family as originally said. Honestly, I am blown away that a judge would do this- but trying with all of strength to praise and worship God even through the hurt and confusion.
I'm trying to remember that God can see the whole picture and that 'I' cannot.
I'm trying to make sense of it all, and yet remember that my human mind cannot possibly wrap itself around how the God of our universe sees things.
I'm trying to understand why God gave us a sibling group of five and then changed it to four.
I'm trying to understand how this system works, why it's so inconsistent and why the kids are always the ones who get stuck in the middle.
I'm trying to figure out how to tell our other kids she will not be here, and how I am possibly going to have enough arms wide enough to hold them all while they hurt.
I'm trying to figure out how I will face taking down her baby bed and returning her precious pink bows, clothes and toys.
I'm trying... but this is just so, so hard.

Things that work for us

Here are a few of the things we do to help keep washing dishes and laundry under control. Everyone has a cute towel on a hook in their room that they use after bathes and then hang it back up. It really cuts down on towel washing. After doing laundry we put them on a shelf in the laundry room under the child's name then they all have to put them away (usually about 1 to 2 times a week.) For the little ones they all have a water bottle on a shelf in the frig with their name on it. It cuts down on dirty cups and if they are thirsty they just help themselves. (We do lots of water at our house).

If anybody else has any good time saving, money saving or organization tips I'd love to hear from you. I need all the help I can get!!!