Monday, September 13, 2010

It happened again, for the 325th time today

As I have said in the past, I forget how 'different' our family is.

I forget we look different, and I even forget there are a lot of us.

I forget, that is, until I see someone looking at us something like this....

and then I remember...

and it makes me sad.

It makes me sad that it is considered odd to see white people, black people and Hispanic people come together as one.

It makes me sad that our family is seen as a rarity just because we love big and love many.

It makes me sad that it is odd to put someones LIFE before our personal WEALTH.

It makes me sad that people believe that loving a child somehow equals them making a sacrifice.

Because, I long for the day when ALL children are seen as the blessing God intended them to be.

I long for the day when it is no longer odd to love someone who looks nothing like you, as God intended it to be.

I long for the day when we put Him before Us in everything we do- as it should be.

“… whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.” Luke 14:33

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Jeni said...

Great post!! I would smile if I ran into your big family :)! Why does my almost 8 year old get it and adults don't??

Unknown said...


I get these looks all of the time - most people want to believe I'm some church group or preschool leader. Um - NO they are all mine thank you very much!

One NATION under GOD!

Love you,

Angie said...

I totally agree with you. It's truly sad. When we just had our 3 oldest boys......all very pale in color, I babysat 3 little girls. The girls were very dark. Their mother was white and their dad was black. Well, as we went in to McDonalds.....along with my husband he said that people would stare at me! I said you know, people have no clue what our story is....and they judge. I didn't care. We cared for those little girls and wanted to take them to McDonalds just like any other child. Color didn't matter to us.....but to everyone that were gauking I guess it did. Just sad!

We actually had our picture made as a family. The girls are almost driving now it's been so long! I will always cherish those pictures though. :0)

Jennifer P said...

I had that kind of day too. Mouth dropped open, for the millionth time, "Are these ALL your children?" One lady said in a better-you-than-me voice, "Well, God bless you honey." For once I think I came back well... I said, "He certainly has."

Your writing is awesome. I love how you share your heart and passion so eloquently. Thanks for reminding me again about what is most important.

Sara Beth said...

Amen! Something happened in our home this week that totally broke my heart. I have one child who is adopted and she is biracial. Her skin is the MOST BEAUTIFUL brown you ever wanted to see ... the color people pay for :) The other morning while we were getting ready for school Zoe Claire got a perplexed look on her face ... she is a thinker and I am certain now she has been pondering this for quite sometime ..."Mommy, everyone else in my class ... well they are the same color as their mommy and I am not." My heart broke in two because to me that says they were even concerned with the color of their skin in the first grade. It makes me sad too that the "norm" is to stick with your own kind and acquiring as many things as you can is priority over giving children the homes and forever families they need! Praying for a better tomorrow for all of our children!

Jennifer {Studio JRU} said...

That is so sad that some people cannot see the beauty and the blessing that is your family!

Andrea Hill said...

My poor Amy! I love you:( I wished I could have slapped that person for you and say, duhhh! I had just posted this on my blog what Biruk's counselor said at camp, "being there its like being in heaven where everyone loves each other".... Anyways, people are ignorant and until we meet Jesus, I think it will never change. At least we have each other to vent to.

The Hull's at #4 said...

Amy, you bless me over and over, thank you for sharing your heart, even though it is painful at times. Your family = beautiful.

Connie J said...

Amen, Sister!

Jen said...


We totally get looks like that too! LOL! I couldn't agree with you more about longing for the day.

Can't wait to meet you at T4A.

Jen said...


We totally get looks like that too! LOL! I couldn't agree with you more about longing for the day.

Can't wait to meet you at T4A.

Susan said...

"It makes me sad that people believe that loving a child somehow equals them making a sacrifice.

Because, I long for the day when ALL children are seen as the blessing God intended them to be."

I love this. Honestly, I need to be reminded of it myself sometimes. There are days when I am more focused on the sacrifices than the blessings. Thank you for "refocusing" me this morning!

natali said...

and p.s. just so you know, i have a habit of seeing people who have adopted a kid of a different race and tell them they're kids are so adorable. and if i saw you in public, i would so go tell you the same thing. :))

Kathleen said...

This is why I love Wes Stafford's book, "Too Small to Ignore". I cried all the way through it with real emotion of how our view of children needs to change. They are blessings, not burdens!!! We too get very hard looks and unkind faces made at our family and the sad part is that some of them come from Christians in our community. I think some believers have taken on the world's view of children and have forgotten how Jesus feels about them.

Dardi said...

I agree, but I did have a cool thing happen yesterday. Took one of the kids to a new doctor in another town, & she started asking questions about the family & adoption. When I got to the part of "how many", in my mind I was ready for the crazy look, but instead she crossed her arms over her legs & said, "You are the type of person I'd like to go have coffee with. I'd love to hear your story." Wow...that was definitely a new one, & it was very sweet.

Amber said...

Can I tell you something? Oh my gosh, how people long to love like you, have faith like you...those empty, jaw dropped faces are faces of envy, really. Look deep and you'll see it. How do they love like that? How do the give like that? How do they trust like that? How do they know God like that? Those faces are signs of a good job being done, my sister in Christ. You have not conformed!!!! You have stood strong, you have remained faithful, you are the hands and feet of Jesus. When I see your family I see a reflection of what I want our family to be. The son who heads up his football team's prayers, the daughters who are beautiful and are God's princesses, the sons who love and protect like real men, the husband who loves and trusts God completelly, the mom and wife I want to be. Those looks are pats on the backs! I know it doesn't feel like it, but I assure you that's what they are. And I pray that your children, all of them-beautiful and HAPPY and blessed, can see that in those faces, too. Color, race, blood type, DNA who CARES??? God loves us, period! We love each other, period!! Unconditional love is not a common type of love anymore. Real and true love, a lot of people will never know it. But YOUR family, they do and they will and they will spread it like wildfires. You ARE the change.
You have my ever growing admiration and respect and my heart and my prayers,
Cheering You On,

Amy said...

Thank you Amber- you have no idea how much that touched me and how much I needed to hear that today especially. I am pretty sure Satan doesn't like what we are doing right now and he has been on us big time lately.
But while I truly appreciate your precious comments- I fully admit that we are VERY human and trust me- we make our share of mistakes (and then some). If you see ANY good in us- I promise you it is ALL God. When it's me- I mess it up completely. ;0)
Thank you again for your encouragement- I do not EVER write for compliments, but some days they are really nice to hear. :)

Anonymous said...

Hey, I love your heart.. Did you know we are sisters! ;-)

mosey said...


Amber said...

I know you get flooded with emails and the like so I don't want to add to it today...but I called you my sister in Christ-which means I know we are both imperfect. :) If I thought you were perfect, I'd have never written to you! Who needs that kind of pressure? ha ha I just know where your heart is and I will cheer for that and encourage you and your family. Sisters in Christ-it's unconditional! Hang in there. Seriously, look at those faces-it's totally worth it. Not that you're questioning if it is, but just look at those beautiful faces!! Don't let Satan's lies work their way in. I add that to my prayers for you all. Satan is strong but "our God's not dead, he's surely alive and he's living on the inside roaring like a LION!". If God is for us then who can stand against us?

Hugs and Prayers

Hilary said...

that picture is hilarious, lol. Don't worry about what other people think. I know my one friend with transracial babies says she'd like to be invisible when they go out and they're not. Changing the world is hard. Only Jesus can/will do that. We can influence people around us with our families though. People in your town will get used to seeing your family and then they'll think of you whenever the topic of adoption comes up. One person at a time.

Gretchen said...

I would love to see your super family out and about. The thought puts a big ole smile on my face!

Danielle said...

Amen! My husband is Ecuadorian, I am white, and my daughters are Ethiopian. We live in the south....and get lots of interesting know the ones where people are trying to figure out..."how did that happen"! I am from NYC so it is so normal for me to see mixed families...and I love how God puts those together....but it can be annoying, frustrating, or disappointing how people respond at times!

Anonymous said...

Not sure if you read all your comments or have time to respond, but I was thinking back to your rice and beans month. We are planning to do a rice and beans month in October, and I was wondering if you would be able to share how you prepared the beans in the crockpot. I tried to find the recipe in previous posts, but I'm not sure if you listed it or not. Thanks so much! - Kristina

Blessed said...

Amy, I would be staring rudely too. I mean rudely because I would be staring and not able to physically take my eyes off your family--because it is so, so, so beautiful.

And I completely agree with the woman who said they are probably staring out of envy--because they sense that there is something special going on in your family. Because they see the beauty and don't want to deal with the God-whispers in their soul that their lives could have such beauty too.

Or, if they are like me, they would be staring and envious because they wish they could have a family just. like. yours.

: )

Of course, I LOVE my little all one color family! It is the one God has given me so far. I hope someday we can add some color to it, but if that's not God's plan, I'll just continue to stare at families like yours. IN a good way.

Laurel said...

I've seen that look for so many years now, that I hardly notice anymore.

I saw that look long before we adopted our African beauties.

That look first began to develop in others when I only had 3 babies under 3 y.o.

The look got a little more twisted when I had 5 kids under 5 y.o.

I saw that look more often when I had 6 kids under 7.

By my 10th bio. baby, I think I had gone blind to the look we get from others.

When our African beauties came home, they would whisper, "People are looking at us." (making the assumption that people were looking at us because they were black). I would just laugh and say, "Oh. People have been staring at our family for MANY years; it's not just about you."

Yes ... it is sad. God's Word tells us clearly that CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING!!! Why should it seem strange when Believers choose to have a few children and/or to adopt children from other nations (as God's Word also directs us to)?


Laurel :)

Unknown said...

Throughout our adoption courses we kept being told how difficult it was on a child to be in a transracial adoption. We started to believe it and, while we had originally been open to adopting a child from any race, we began requesting caucasian children only. We just didn't want to "mess up" anyone, like they implied we would.

And then we were matched with a sibling set of three sisters. The oldest is caucasian, the second hispanic, and the youngest is African-American. God set us back on the correct path of loving kids for WHO they are and not what their background is.

And, yes, we get the looks, but I'm too busy loving my girls to notice.

Keep up the great work!

{darlene} said...

the good thing about a shocked face...
the eyes need to open up wider.

no doubt.
you are opening eyes.

Sharla said...

So true. well said.

I forget too sometimes because in our small community, we don't get stared at much anymore because people are used to us but when we go other places, I get that look a lot - great picture!