Wednesday, September 3, 2008

How much can one heart take?

Today was a really hard day for me... Travis' first day as a Senior and Mya's first day of Kindergarten. I look at my baby boy and wonder how the time ever went that quickly? This will be his last year home with me- his last year of High school. It seems like only yesterday it was his first day of Kindergarten. When I finally pulled myself together over that thought, I looked at my precious little Mya. She hasn't even been in our home for 2 years yet and already she is heading to school for all day Kindergarten. How much can one mama's heart take?

As I plastered a smile on my face and made my way down the hallway to her classroom I couldn't help but notice all of the shiny new shoes and spiffy backpacks each child proudly displayed. We continued on down the hallway towards her room- with each step I whispered in her ear, telling her how proud I was of her -and how much fun she was going to have. Once we knew she was situated in her new room Aleigha and I headed out to the car where we broke down into tears and wept in the parking lot. I know Aleigha feels like part of her is missing... and I do too.

So many emotions were going through my head... so many worries... Did she had enough pencils? Would she remember her lunch box and would the other children be kind to her? Would Keegan be in the same class as his friends and would Addisyn remember her locker combination. Did Travis remember his lunch money and what if Kallan missed the bus? As I prayed asking God to watch over all of my children God spoke to me in His ever so gently way. He brought the shiny new sneakers that I had noticed on the children to mind and reminded me where my job as these children's mother really was. Many times we worry about providing our children with enough... We worry that others may not see the beauty we see in them and we worry that life may not be 'perfect' for them. But God reminded me that the 'assets' we give our children can be lost, stolen, or eventually wear out. He reminded me that through suffering and trails we learn to turn to Him and grown stronger... and that it doesn't matter how the world views us- but what matter is how HE sees us. I have no control over other's behavior- all I can do is give my children an example of a life committed to Him. My legacy in this world should not be to making sure that my children always have the latest clothes or the best shoes- but my legacy is that as a mother I taught them by my example to live their lives for Christ and trust in Him alone.

Praying for a wonderful school year... that each day our children grow closer to the Lord and that His light shines through every decision, every breath they take. Thank you Lord for allowing me to mother my precious children. Help me to always remember that they are only mine for a short time -but yours forever.

I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children live in the truth. 3 John 4


Heather said...

They look so good---so eager to start a new school year! Hope they all had a great day and have an awesome year! Heather

Elizabeth said...

WOW, what a day for you! We started preschool yesterday, but we are doing it at home. I'm not sure how I will handle it if God tells me to send her to school!!

Hope you have a great day and that it will go by FAST!!
Blessings, love, and hugs...

Recovering Noah said...

Oh my goodness, Amy. I cried right with you. I can't believe how fast your kids are growing up.

Be sure to let us know how Mya's first day of school goes!


Unknown said...

For me, reading this is de javu. I remember having the same feelings when all you girls started to school and I was home alone. Love Mya's back pack. Hope all of them had a great day.


Michelle Riggs said...

I can't believe how much your kids have grown up. I was just looking at pictures of Abby and Aleigha, that we took 2 1/2 years ago. all of our babies are growing up.

I am so proud of them all.

Melinda said...

Such a beautiful post Amy! Our kids are only "ours" for such a short time. It is so hard to let go of them and to give complete control to God, but that is what He wants of us, because after all they are His kids. Praying for you as you learn how to go about your days with only two.

Jenny said...

Oh man! You made me cry again! I wanna go back in time or at least slow down now!!!! Enjoy every single moment with Travis this year! Next year will be live changing! Hold on to him now! Titi

Anonymous said...

I shed a few tears myself with Kristen starting Kindergarten two weeks ago. Love the pics of all the kids on their first day. Hope they all have a great year.

Doreen said...

I love your back pack Mya!! I wish you all a wonderful school year.. great pictures Amy, even though they were happy tearful ones...! doreen