Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Havyns story- Part 1

I love how each of our lives are a story- a story of God's goodness and a story of His faithfulness. Sometimes our story begins before we even realize it is a part of who we are and how we ended up where we are. But through it all, God knows and it is always beautiful.


As I have stated before, on a public blog there are only some things I will share. My children's stories are theirs to share- when and if they are ready. But what I will tell you is that without a doubt when I look back over each of our children's stories it is more than clear that God was working- and all we had to do was let Him. We had to not get in his way with our worries, our plans and our ideas. We had to just simply let God be God- and trust.



In the past I had often heard people say that God gave them a 'vision'. But secretly I admit, I was somewhat doubtful. I know visions are biblical, and yet often I am embarrassed to say, I questioned. What if the vision was something they had just dreamed up on their own, or wanted pretty badly and got it confused with what God had? Because after all, often our wants are not what God ends up giving us right? And so when I finally recognized this vision God had given me, it was beautiful... and I wanted it more than anything- but I was afraid. Afraid that maybe it was just something I had dreamed up on my own.



Last summer I spent of a lot of evenings walking and talking with God. I could sense He was leading us somewhere and I wanted to spend as much time with Him making sure we heard Him clearly. Often times I struggled wondering why I couldn't hear him clearly... yet over and over He gave me this 'vision' of a toddler boy and infant girl together... and behind them were many children standing in a group with smiles on their faces, cheering. A few months later we stepped out in faith starting our 'pickle jar' praying that God provided the funds for us to adopt-assuming both children would be from Ethiopia because of the strong feeling we were to start an international adoption.



So, we updated our international homestudy and began to pray and to search. God had put a certain special need on our hearts years before, something I am passionate about- and my heart breaks for those who live with it. Todd and I had both decided that we were not to wait on a list for a child, knowing there were children already waiting. We were both very open to a child with special needs so decided to just let God lead us to our child. I had spent some time calling around to many different agencies and asking if they had any waiting children with this specific need God had laid on our heart- but nothing ever fell into place.

And then, came Carson.


As I have shared in the past, his adoption was not something we saw coming, or had planned- and yet Gods hands were clearly all over it and we could not deny it. I was a bit confused because his adoption didn't exactly fit at that time with the vision God had given us- He wasn't from Ethiopia and he didn't have a baby sister in tow. Yet we loved this little boy with a love so fierce- and God moved Him into our home in a way we never could have planned. I am so thankful that God knows more than we ever could. I cannot even begin to tell you how perfectly Carson fits into our family and what a blessing he is.



The days moved on and with our focus on Carson- we sort of put the idea of an African adoption on the back burner. That is, until the day we got the call.



One of the agencies I had called months before had an infant baby girl they were looking for a family for. This baby girl had previously been referred to another family, who had backed out due to her possible special need. They wondered if we were still interested. We decided a long time ago to always be open to what the Lord had for us. We decided long ago that our lives were not our own and that we would use the days we were given to open our home to children who needed one of their own. We decided a long time ago to quit limiting God with our time frame. We decided a long time ago to step out of the boat no matter what the cost. We decided a long time ago to say Yes Lord. So, we did.



As the months wore on, we prayed for this baby girl across the world, yet used every minute of every day to make sure Carson felt securely attached and that He, as well as our other children, we getting everything they needed and more. God is just so awesome. When he placed Carson in our home he gave us a son who bonded almost instantly, who felt at home the day he moved in and who fit in easier than any other child we had ever adopted. Yet He also gave us something more- he gave us the gift of watching our new son pray for a baby sister he had yet to meet with such a tender heart it almost took my breath away. All of our children were excited about their new baby sister- but with Carson it seemed to be something deeper. Something I couldn't have known- but God did.


Just yesterday I looked across the room and saw part of the vision God had given me last summer come to life. There sat our precious Carson leaning over his new baby sister gently kissing her forehead. And I was reminded once again of God's love and faithfulness. He is good.


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43 comments:

No Greater Gift Mom said...

Absolutely beautiful. It is so amazing to watch God work in your life. I can't wait to hear more.
In Him,
E

Mandi said...

What a beautiful story. That picture of Havyn and Carson brought tears to my eyes. They are absolutely adorable.

Mandi

Dardi said...

Thank you for sharing a beautiful reminder that God's perspective is way bigger--& better--than what we come up with. Tissues, please.....

Melinda said...

Beautiful picture to go with a beautiful story! So amazing how God planned this adoption, not what you originally planned, but no doubt His plan all along! You are one blessed family!

Donna said...

What a beautiful story! I love the picture!

You give me hope to cling to the vision I had, and knowing that the vision can happen.

trustandobey said...

Wonderful story binding these 2 little lambs. Congratulations again!
Lisa

Shonni said...

So precious friend! I am so glad that you are home...You must email me and tell me how your trip went!
loves,
Shonni

Tonya Brown said...

Bawling at God's goodness. I can so relate, Amy, about God giving a vision. When I met you last summer the Lord was doing a massive work in me. By October I knew the Lord was telling me I would go. But there was no way I could do that; no family, no home church, and no sending agency because I didn't meet any criteria except loving Jesus. He showed me yet again that I certainly couldn't do any of it, but he could. All I had to do was keep the faith and draw near to him in everything. In an 8 week time frame he placed me in a faith family, a home church plant, and an organization that I fully believe in. Two weeks ago today I resigned in my job and am following Jesus to Uganda. When the Lord saved me nearly five years ago, he gave me a vision of brown faces as far off as I could see. This is his plan five years in the making.... his time.... amazing isn't it! On Sunday I cried nearly all day at his goodness, just wishing that people would understand that the Lord's dreams for us so blow our own dreams for ourselves out of the water.

You, my friend, are an amazing woman of God and a perfect example of what he will do with the willing... thanking God for you. It wasn't until I realized that the only thing separating me from those doing unexplainable things for the kingdom was myself and my willingness to let go and let him lead I can’t do a thing, but with him all things really are possible.

Your family is beautiful and your newest children are precious. Can’t wait for part 2!!

Unknown said...

Amy,

All I can say is, "beautiful". Thank you for following where God leads...you are a light to so many others through your faithfulness and willingness to listen.

Isn't it great how God's will and purpose is just right, even when we doubt His sovereignty. You are blessed beyond measure.

Love you!
Christie

Molly said...

God is so good! thank you for sharing your awesome story with us! :)

Tanya said...

so beautiful!

Sandy said...

You family is so amazing...following God with abandon....God is so working on my own heart. Been walking with the Lord(feebly at times) for 28 years....God has a call on our lives and we need to bow our knee before Him and let Him bring on His plans for us....How amazing.
Thank you for the gift of the picture of your two new littles....We have a grand with brown skin...He is 14 now and such a gift to us.
God is so Faithful.
Lovingly,
Sandy in NC

Holly said...

Lots of smiles. I can't help but think beauty from the ashes.
You have walked through some heartbreaking times as a mother and look at what the Lord has done.
Love you,
Holly

Theo and Lisa said...

Hello Amy,

God is so good! I needed to read your post today! His works are amazing and on those days when he gives us those little glimpes into His plan, know when we need to hear from Him. This adoption journey we are on has been long, hard and at time heart breaking. I too have felt that God has called me to adopt and I too have worried, "is this my vision, or God's" Your post today made me feel that God reached through you to me as to say, This is His plan and to trust Him in the whole thing. Thank you and God Bless you..
Lisa

Amy said...

God is so good. What love He has for us and how He lavised His gifts on us.

You are truly blessed.

waitingarms said...

What a beautiful story. It never fails to amaze me just how indescribably better God's plans are. Oh how foolish I am when I hold on so dearly to my plans instead of simply letting God be God and see His glory revealed when I obey.

Thanks for the reminder to trust when He gives us a vision.

Blessings.

Andrea said...

Love it! Love watching God handle things the way they are supposed to be.
Blessings
Andrea

Kristy said...

Beautiful!!! And your reminder of God's perfect timing is well, timely for me, especially today. :) Thanks for sharing your beautiful family and beautiful life in a way that encourages others. :)

Leah Wentzel said...

absolutely perfect. what a perfect pair!

GinSpaghetti said...

Beautiful story for a gorgeous little girl! Beautiful, beautiful family Amy!!!

Chris said...

People often comment and I too wonder "how do you know if it IS God's will vs a dream of your own" Especially when things don't work smoothly...does that mean God is closing doors, or the Devil is working against you...

As you pointed out...the only way is to seek God's heart...through His word and prayer.

Sophie said...

Dearest Amy,

What a beautiful heart warming story of your precious gifts from God, it has brought me to tears. I want to thank you as well , as there are times I feel that perhaps I'm hoping for more than I should be . Your story has renewed my hope for the vision that's been playing in my mind for months, and is a reminder that even though things are not happening this minute that God is preparing something greater than I can ever invision.

Can't wait to see more pictures of your gorgeous bunch!
Blessings :)

Alicia said...

Thank you for sharing your life, your heart, and your obedience. We are in the process of fostering and it has been a hard time as we have clearly fallen in love with our newest addition, but realize that he could be taken at anytime. I have felt that God's call on our lives is to just wait for Him....thank you for illustrating this for me. May God continue to encourage and use you all for His glory!

Hannah said...

Beautiful. I needed to be reminded of God's providence in these matters today.

Thank you for sharing your journey and your heart.

God is so good. What a good, good Daddy.

Blessings!

Hannah

Sara said...

That is the sweetest picture I have ever seen.

Kimmie said...

Welcome home Amy...Yeah God!

love the picture...!

Kimmie
mamat to 8
one homemade and 6 1/2 adopted

Recovering Noah said...

There are no words for how precious that photo is! And I LOVE those little baby rolls. She's a cutie!

Leslie :-)

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

LOVE IT!!!!

natali said...

I'm in tears at that testimony of GOD's faithfulness. Getting out the boat is sometimes very difficult to do, but He always promises He won't ever let us go if we do :))

Anonymous said...

Just a remarkable story! I love how each and every child has a unique story. So beautiful. The picture of Carson and Havyn was heart warming! I can't wait to meet her!
Mattie Patterson

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

He blows my mind with his awesomeness. I know you know that this is the blessing. I know you can't wake up any morning without looking at your kids and asking him in amazement how he could have blessed you so much - plucked up babies from across the world and tucked them into your very own bed. Our brains can't even wrap around it. It is so incredibly humbling. I know you know. xoxo

Andrea Hill said...

God's Calling on your adoptions for sure. You are simply graceful and I love being your friend.

Unknown said...

Such a wonderful story of God's grace and his plan for your story. What a precious picture!

Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing her with us. You give me hope that some day a story like this will be mine. Until then I get to read your happy ever afters.. She is beautiful and I am SOOOO glad she is HOME.. In a forever HOME! :))))

Phyllis said...

Beautiful story and picture...brought me to tears.
Phyllis

Christi said...

Such beautiful words and such a beautiful photo as well.. to God be the glory! Thank you for saying YES!

Anonymous said...

Precious and so very well said!

Heather

The gFamily said...

I am just always in awe at how God is in ALL the details! God is so good! Lovin' how perfectly Carson and Havyn fit together as brother and sister!

Denise :) said...

Amy, I love reading your entries. You so delightfully describe God's goodness and faithfulness in your lives. Thank you for sharing! :)

Mom 4 Kids said...

Beautiful family! Congratulations!

Lindsay said...

what a beautiful story! reading it brought tears to my eyes seeing Gods goodness and faithfulness. Thank you for sharing it with us.

blessedfamily said...

wow... beautiful!

Susan said...

Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and giving others strength to continue behind you. Sharing with me about your experiences have meant the world to us! Thank you.