Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I.am.here

Thank you so much to the so many of you who have emailed or called to check in on me. I know I have been neglecting this blog lately, but in all honesty, with all of the newness in our lives- I am having a hard time keeping up. It been hard here, in ways we expected and in ways we couldn't have begun to see.

Today, as I poured my heart out to God during my morning devotion, I was faced with the fact that I am not enough, and never will be... yet He gently reminds me 'I.am.here.'

And on these days when I don't know where to begin, that is all I really need to know.

Our lives around here look messy right now. Our days are full of learning a culture that is so far from what we have always know. Learning a language that we do not understand, learning God in a way we never have before.

Learning how to cook in a place that is unfamiliar. Learning how to work as a husband and wife team in a way we never have before. Learning together as a family about our new home.
 There are days whenI feels like I do not have the strength to meet the need of another. Days where my flesh just wants to meet the needs of it's own. Days where I call out to God and question if He called the right girl and days where I wish He hadn't.
Days where I wonder if simply cuddling a child who has never had a mother to console them after they fell is enough? Days where I try to make it about me instead of about Him. Days where I wonder how the world around me can go on in the mist of so much suffering and so much pain.
Days where I wonder how the God of compassion can allow so much loss and devastation in this world.  Days where I find it difficult to understand. Days where I question if we will ever be able to make much of a difference and days where I wonder why I thought I possibly could.
Days where I question myself and days where I question Him. Days where it isn't pretty and days where it's all I can do to muster the words, 'where are you Lord?'
 But then He reminds me...

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ~2 Corinthians 12:9
And so we begin each new day learning as we go... becoming what He needs us to become, failing misserably along the way, yet having hope that even in those circumstances He can work. Struggling to understand yet clinging to His word and who He is. Reminding myself it's okay that I am not enough- because He is. Knowing that is the truth no matter where we live or where this life brings us.

He is enough.

Even on those days we loose sight of that fact, He is enough.

And do for today, I am simply here.  

Willing.
Changing.
Growing.
Trusting.
Believing.


Over the course of the next few weeks leading up to Thanksgiving I am going to be doing posts on all of the things I have to be thankful for...It is a great reminder of the many, many  ways God is at work around us. I'd love for you to join me- looking for God in news ways- in the ordinary and in the unordinary. Seeing God for who He is and thanking Him for the work He has done in our lives and the work He continues to do.

Today, I am thankful for the Lord who is more than enough. You?
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21 comments:

Chantelle said...

((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))

Divine Mrs D said...

That there can be a string of illogical actions, that look bad, turn out good, and can't be coincidence. That is what I'm thankful for.

JSNeufeld said...

Thankful for you Amy:) your friendship, your heart and your willingness to be so transparent before all of us~ will you ever know what an encouragement you are? Praying for you girl~ God has His arms wrapped all around you:)
Love,
Samantha

Laurie said...

Wow, you are expressing what's n my heart after going to Ethiopia for two weeks. Amy,mthank you for being the example, for being real, and just being the hands of Jesus. I love you fiend. His grace is sufficient and HE is enough. Thank you for the reminder.

Amanda said...

I am grateful for this and so much more because lately I feel like a failure in many ways. He is doing so many things around me and with me and I wonder if I'm the right one for the job. But thank goodness I know I'm not enough and that only with Him am I enough.

valerie in TX said...

Today I am thankful for the God who doesn't give up on us, even in our stubbornness, ignorance, pride, ignorance, selfishness, and oh yes, ignorance. :) So thankful He keeps allowing me to learn and change, even after I've given Him every reason not to.

And thank you, Amy, for sharing so honestly about how challenging it can be. So often I tend to question whether I really heard God when the going gets tough. Your post reminds me that "hard" doesn't always mean I've missed Him.

Praying for you. :)

Dardi said...

Really, Amy, what did I tell you about getting in my brain & then blogging it? ;o) Love you, & I'm in...much to be thankful for, so that will be my focus starting...Now! Love you!

Jill Samter Photography said...

I love you Amy! Hugs!

Don't we all have days like that? Weeks and months where this life just doesn't exactly make sense - then on top of it sweet friend you are serving the least of these. BE GRACIOUS WITH YOURSELF! Saying a prayer for you now!

XOXOX

One Big Fat Sugar Mama said...

I needed this reminder today. Love you girl.

Lorraine, AKA Forever Blessed said...

Oh, Amy, I wish I could hug your neck right now. I can only imagine how difficult, challenging, trying, yet rewarding your mission is. God has clearly called YOU and your family to this. His grace IS sufficient. It's our flesh that sometimes tries to override His promise of sufficiency through Him and His grace. One thing to remember is that you are doing what He has asked, even when it's never enough (by the circumstances you're physically experiencing, witnessing, living 24/7), but you are doing more than most will ever do. Your obedience is of utmost importance. Remember, He didn't say, "GO save all of Guatemala." He didn't even say, "GO save all who are associated with Eagle's Nest". He simply said, "GO". You obeyed. He will do the rest. Oh, and He'll make sure YOU can't physically do it all because He wants to make sure HE receives all the glory. You're right, Amy, you are NOT enough. NONE of us are. Only HE is. Thank you for the reminder and the example that you are. Love you and miss you!!!

The gFamily said...

I am thankful for your family and your servant leadership, attitudes, and hearts! Thank you for always being authentic with us! It allows us to know how to pray for you. You are all in our prayers!

Leveta said...

AMy: I can understand that your days are not always easy but please know that all of us are praying for you and that you and your family are an inspiration to us. I was wondering too if you could post again the article and picture about the money spent on Halloween and the picture of the little child being fed. I have someone I want to share it with.
Thanks, Leveta

Elle Bee said...

Your honesty is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart.

Gina said...

Love you Amy. Praying for you all.

Renae said...

So thankful for God's GRACE to cover all my weaknesses(and there are many!)! {{{HUGS}}} and prayers for you my friend!

Sophie said...

Oh Amy, I so admire everything you are doing right now for these precious children. Your willingness and obedience to do all that you are doing is such a blessing to these innocent hearts that you touch each day.
I'm sure it doesn't feel like enough but for these kids it's more than they've ever had.
Love you sister
Sophie

Jennifer P said...

God gives us the lenses to see the world His way. Thank you for putting that into words and being willing to put those glasses on. Keep on keeping on! Grace and hugs.

hopeful one said...

Amy,
It is unfair to pretend that I really understand what you are going through. However, I can relate to much of what you are saying. The Lord is reminding me afresh and new that it isn't about me. Life isn't about what I can or can't do. Life isn't about me worrying about the results. Life isn't about me trying to figure out how it can all work, count, and come to pass. Life is about me resting in my Fathers care and and just doing what He has asked of me for that day. Man, I still have so far to go. Yet, the Lord in His compassion reminds me of how far I've come. Knowing that one day we will be on the mission field away from everything familiar, I too may be needing to have someone lift me up and remind me of these deep truths again. In this race of life together,
Trina

Andrea H. said...

I am thankful that you are one of my dearest friend even though its in such a distance. I am thankful that everytime I look at your blog I am humbled to my knees to know that you are out there doing the real thing. You couldn't have ask for anything more challenging than this. Although many of us say we wished we could do it, but being taken out of our comfort zone like that to the fullest is just like Jesus. YOu did it anyway because you knew that is what God wanted for you and your family. I love you so much.

darci said...

praying for you today. I wish we could "like" another's comments...because I love the one that said..you obeyed. God said 'go' and you did. That's all you can do and have to do, and He is big enough for all the rest. Love and prayers today. darci

helen said...

Amy, you write from your heart, and communicating this way is one of God's gifts He has given you. and because it's from God it is powerful and inspirational! Thank you so much.
For our family there is a special reason we give thanks with a grateful heart today. This morning we received a phone call telling us that our dear friend in Christ whom we've known for about 35 yrs. was in NYC to be with his daughter and son-in-law in hospital to deliver their baby when suddenly our friend suffered a heart attack! How wonderful it was to hear the news this evening that ALL IS WELL! Our friend is recovering and very happy to announce the birth of his granddaughter. We are rejoicing! Glory to God for His abounding grace.

Amy, sometimes when we're "wondering why"; the Lord gives us hugs of comfort and peace, and you can almost hear Him saying, "Amy, even if you were the only person living on earth, I still would have come down to die for you - remember I'll always love you and be with you forever."

With much love and many prayers.