Kaden moves in today for good. I cannot even begin to tell you how hard yesterday was without him. My heart was breaking and I missed him so much. Yet no matter how painful that was- it was nothing compared to what Christ endured on the cross for us. I never want to forget that and spent yesterday really reflecting on it. As we sit here waiting for the caseworkers and Kaden and his foster mom to show up, the girls are bouncing up and down on the couch watching out the front window. I’m not sure why I bothered to clean the window’s earlier today because they are now covered with fingerprints. None of that really matters though you know, sometimes I think I am too guilty of letting the ‘little’ things get to me when there are so many more important things to take care of in our world.
But as I watched the girls chatting excitedly about their new baby brother- it hit me how close I actually came to missing this. I remember back to that day- the day we received Kaden’s files… and the memory of the fear comes rushing back as if I were right there again that day. That paralyzing fear- the kind that can stop you from really living because you are so afraid of the unknown. You know, I don’t have any guarantees that our life with Kaden will be easy- just like I don’t have any guarantee that our life without Kaden would have been easy. But what I do have is total peace in our decision to allow God to use us- and in doing so- he has blessed us beyond anything I could have ever imagined for ourselves. I cannot explain to you the joy I feel when Kaden curls into my lap, when he searches for me as I leave the room and how his smile makes my heart melt into a million pieces. It is a joy like no other. He did not come from my womb- but he is just the same my son and I am so grateful that I get to be his mother. From this experience I have learned to trust God more fully- even when it doesn’t make sense, and even at a risk to myself. He always, always has the better plan. If there was one thing I could tell you today- it’s to really live. Really put yourself out there- fight for a cause- give of yourself. Don’t worry what other people think, don’t care if it’s not the popular thing to do- just live big for God. Its what you are here for you know. I’ll end this with a poem I have on my frig door….
God won't ask what kind of car you drove; He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.
God won't ask the square footage of your house, He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.
God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll ask how many you helped to clothe. God won't ask what your highest salary was; He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it, and performed your job to the best of your ability.
God won't ask how many friends you had; He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.
God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.
God won't ask about the color of your skin, He'll ask about the content of your character.
God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation; He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.