Thursday, October 14, 2010

Confirmation

Some of you may have notice my lack of blog posts lately. For the past month or so our life plans had been turned upside down. I had done my best to try to hold things together and go through our days pretending everything was fine and dandy- but the truth was, inside we were hurting and afraid. It felt like our lives were crumbling around us. Our plans, our dreams- everything we had worked for seemed to be falling apart. Afraid of the unknowns, afraid we had heard God wrong- all we could do was cling to Jesus and wait.

I had spent a lot of time on my knees talking to God- and had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that we would walk whatever road He asked us to. And not only would we walk it- but regardless of the outcome we would praise Him through the storm. So, we began to do just that. Began to praise Him for our pain, began to trust Him even more with our entire lives and all of our plans. While we have always tried to do that- there was just something about facing a trial-and actually making the decision right then and there to PRAISE no matter what.

Through this trial, we began to see God in a whole different way and we began to see our lives in a totally different light. Each day seemed all the more precious. Each hug, each kiss, each moment seemed all the more sweeter. The petty things in life that used to bother us were no longer visible. The things in life that matter to us before- matter even more now.

A little over a month ago my husband, Todd, started feeling sick. A couple of us had colds and we just figured he caught a virus- as did the doctor when he went in about a week later. And, the week after that. Then at about day 19 days straight of fever, night sweats and fatigue I began to understand that something wasn't right. We headed back to the doctors once again- who promptly sent us to see an oncologist. For those of you who have been there- I have a whole new understanding. I have a whole new appreciate for our health and a whole new appreciate for life. When you are staring a diagnosis like that in the eye- it changes you. It puts things into perspective- where they should have been all along.

It was a long several weeks as we waiting out first blood test results and then additional testing of bone marrow and a pet scan. We waited and we prayed and we grew and we learned- things that we hope we never forget. As we sat in that doctors office fully expecting to hear the words leukemia- and fully expecting to be writing a blog post much differently than this one- we were once again blown away by our God.

Every test came back indicating there was no cancer- no leukemia. There had been every single sign there. Even the oncologist was baffled- and surprised at the results. Three doctors had seen the signs- and all had pointed to cancer. And yet here we were- all signs gone. All tests negative. A second chance at life.

As we walked out of that doctors office I couldn't help being blown away. God is still in the business of miracles- and the power of prayer is strong.

Several nights before Todd and I had been talking- trying to work our way through the unknowns. One thing we had noticed was that more often than not as we had shared what we were facing with others people seemed most concerned with single parenting nine children. While no, that wouldn't of course be my choice- that was not at all our biggest fear. As a matter of fact, Todd and I both agreed if we had to do it over again the only thing different we would do is adopt MORE. Our biggest fear was NOT leukemia, and our biggest fear is not single parenting nine children. Our biggest fear was simply not being able to do more with the days God has given us.

In church our pastor said something today that really hit me. He said, "the reason God left us here after we accepted him as our Lord and Savior was so that we could tell others about Him."
We exist -we live-so that we can tell others the good news. Yet that left me questioning- how many times have I let opportunities go by, how many times I have walked away from someone and not told them about my God? How many times have I made this life all about me- when really I am only here to tell others all about Him.

I don't know what the future holds- just like I didn't before the scare of leukemia entered our lives. But what I do know is that this confirmed our decision to GO more than ever. God willing, we are going. We are going to serve, we are going to love and we are going to TELL people about the one who we live for. The God of second chances, the God who saves, the God who heals and restores- the one true God.

If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. Matthew 10:39


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43 comments:

mamamargie said...

God still has work for you to do -- TOGETHER! He is wonderful and the tough times really do make us focus on what is most important. It could be He allowed this leukemia scare to get you focused and ready for the next assignment He is ready to hand you. Whatever IT is, I know He will be there for you, as He has been with you all along. God bless you and your beautiful family.

Jacksmom said...

I am so glad to hear that Todd is ok, and that God has given him a second chance at life.

Violet said...

Hi Amy! (and Todd). I just cried reading this post. Tears of joy and tears because in some ways, it hits very close to an experience I went through last year. I'd so love to share more of my personal story with you, but can't seem to find an e-mail address : 0 S.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Praise God. He is Good! SO good!

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

AMEN! What an amazing God we serve and love!

Praise God Todd does NOT have cancer Amy!

Is he feeling better now?

Keeping you all in my prayers and can't wait to hear where God is sending you next!
Love you,
Jill

Rebekah said...

Wow, what a hard but fruitful journey. I am sorry that your family had a hard month, but I know that the dark times are when God prunes us for His glory. Praying for your family's health and that we ALL take every opportunity to share the gospel and make disciples. Thanks for sharing, you have a great gift for writing!

Stacy said...

Oh, Amy,
I can only imagine what you all were going through. Health is a precious thing that sometimes we take for granted. I am so happy and relieved that Todd is ok. Praise God! You're right, God is still in the miracle business. : )
Many, many blessings to you and your family.
Stacy
blessingsonwhitehorsedrive.blogspot.com

Dardi said...

I love you!!

Jenn Philpot said...

Oh Amy. Praise the Lord that there's no leukemia, and we'll pray that it stays that way. We take so much for granted, we almost forget that God sustains our lives at every moment. Thanks for sharing your pastor's words...may we all be challenged and motivated to share the gospel more by what God has done in your lives!!

Amber said...

Thank you, Jesus!!

Tara said...

Prayers of Praise being sent for the incredible news...and praying as you "Go" where he leads you.

James 1:27 Family said...

So glad to hear that Todd does not have leukemia. Praying for full healing and many fruitful days ahead.

Much love,
Amy

I run for said...

what an AWESOME God. I've been thinking and praying for you guys since the T4A conference, and never found the 'time' to sit down to email you and check on you. So glad that God is STILL IN THE BUSINESS OF MIRACLES!! I can't believe any of us even doubted it.

Lots of love and hugs!!
Elizabeth

Andrea said...

Scary! Praising God with you that your husband is cancer free! Praying for complete healing for whatever is was!!

Chrys and Mike said...

Rejoicing!

Shonni said...

I am so sorry and am praying for ya’ll!!!!

Sharon and Manuel said...

Oh, I was so nervous reading that post.......but oh so happy to hear the result and what you learned is amazing. A very good lesson to me!! Thanks for sharing that here.

sharon

Kim Foo said...

Praise God for He is good his love endures FOREVER!!!!

This is amazing good news. I am so happy this trial is passed for you, and excited to see what you do next. :)

kim
journey2ethiopia.blogspot.com

Tiffany said...

Your testimony is so beautiful and really encouraged me! Thank you for be willing to share it! You are so right too - all that really matters in this life as that we are ready and willing to TELL others about God and his saving grace through His Son. My eyes are being opened more and more to this,and my heart has been softened. Thanks.

Amanda said...

Everything for his Glory and he sure used this situation to show you he is bigger than cancer when we believe and have faith. I am so happy for your family and so filled with love and adoration for our awesome God. Your family's example is blessing our family as we prepare to adopt in the future.

Jami said...

whoa. so thankful it's not leukemia and that this whole experience has only stoked your fires even hotter. praising God with you!!

Me and Jesus said...

WOW amazing story! I love reading stories of Gods modern day miracles!!
I am a widow, my husband finished the race and met with his heavenly Father 3 years ago, he was 31, I 24. I have since gone on to adopt 2 beautiful children from foster care, with 3 more here waiting to be adopted! God is Good.

Christie said...

Wow, Amy. I am so sorry that you all have had to walk that road these past few weeks. I know, all too well, what that feels like.

But God, praise Him!!! What an awesome testimony of the God we serve.

Knowing that He's brought you through this storm, fairly unscathed, I can't wait to see what He has in store for you all in the near future!

Praying for you!

Leah W said...

that is wonderful new. God is good.

Merany :) said...

Praise the Lord for NO CANCER! :) What an awesome God. And He would still be awesome even if the tests had been positive. And I know that you know that! Your family is gorgeous. Perfectly so. I love your blog and your blog posts. Your faith makes me stronger. It reminds me of how mine should be. Thank you. Thank you for being honest and open. :) God Bless You!!!

stacy said...

Praising our very wonderful God that your hubby is ok! I have always appreciated your very insightful posts. After spending the weekend having a major pity party about a (very bad) situation going on in my life I read..."How many times have I made this life all about me- when really I am only here to tell others all about Him." I realized that ths is what I've been doing. God used your words to give me the kick in the pants to hear what I needed to hear right now. God bless your family.

bbqdaisy said...

What an AMAZING testimony of your faith and also of the faithfulness of our God! I can only imagine the pain of the very real thought of loosing your best friend! I can't wait to SEE what God does in the life of your family -- as I KNOW He is going to CONTINUE to do GREAT things! I also believe that Satan works that much harder when we step out in total obedience and faith as you and your husband have done, being open to whatever and where ever God calls you! Your blog is an inspiration! I love to visit!
Blessings
Maria

Anonymous said...

Wow Amy, our God is awesome, I am so happy Todd is doing great. Love you all and miss you.

Love Brandy

Andrea H. said...

God did answer all the prayers, Todd is healed, Amen. I cannot begin to imagine how much deeper this experience even strenghtened you and Todd and you all as a family. Now I keep on praying for the next step, you know what I mean? Love you.

Jen said...

Amy,

How wonderful that Todd does not have leukemia. . . but how much more wonderful it is to hear of how He has drawn you more to himself and taught you more of who he is, whose you are, and what life is all about.

I can't wait to hear more in the days to come!

LBWV said...

W.O.W. --how amazing. I decided to donate a small amount (very small, saving up for our adoption), as a way to kick start that 2nd chance. I love your blog and all that you stand for!!! God is great! :)

Laurie said...

I had been praying and thinking bout y'all so much in the last few weeks but never sat down to write or just say I'm praying, but know I was. Please forgive me? But more importantly, I'm praising God from who all blessings flow as He continues to move mountains for you all. Please let me know how we can support the call on your lives. I believe great things are about to happen for those who say yes and I can't wait to see God shine through it all!

Great news! Continued blessings coming your way!
Laurie

Suzette said...

Praising God with you for His amazing answers to prayer and guidance during the unknowns you faced.

His Hands His Feet Today said...

So thankful for the praise report you are able to share after all of this!!!

Love,
Kim

Tara said...

Oh Amy...so grateful that God has shown you your 2nd chance! Amen to that.

E.T.'s Mom said...

I cried reading this, too. Praise God for the healing and the passion your family has received!

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

Praising Jesus with you!

God has shown himself faithful to our family through medical miracles MANY times. He is AWESOME!

Praying with you as you seek His journey for your family.

Laurel :)

Karin said...

Soooo thankful that you did not get a cancer diagnosis. My heart was in my throat reading your post because my brother in law has been battling Leukemia for about a year now. I can only imagine how this scare changed your life. Big hugs!!

BrandiB said...

So thankful to hear a healthy good report at your house. I'm glad to hear everything is ok and interested to see how God will use it. I'm amazed to look back at situations in our lives like this where it was completely woven into something bigger than we could have imagined.

Rhonda said...

Wow! So glad everything turned out good! God is GOOD! Love you all!!!

Phyllis said...

Oh Amy, I am so relieved to hear it was not leukemia. I hope he is feeling fine now. Love and miss you guys.
Phyllis

darci said...

oh Amy...I can only imagine the fear of those days. I am so so glad to hear that he is ok--and you have to wonder (or I do anyway) if the Lord didn't do a miracle there..You always always inspire me to live bigger for God, to just throw my heart open adn say "whatever You want, Lord"..even in the midst of this crisis, you did the same! Praying for you, bloggy friend. :) darci

FarmMom said...

Don't know if he's gotten any kind of diagnosis yet, but my husband had those same symptoms when he first came down with Lyme disease. You might do a little research on that...Praying that it is nothing at all! I love reading your blog!

godgivenpassions said...

Praising God with you, Amy!!! Thank you Lord Jesus for this amazing family and I pray that they will have many wonderful years of ministry ahead!!!

Hugs, Audrey