I have a confession to make.
I hate not being perfect.
I know hate is a strong word- but it’s the one that fits.
Now that it’s out in the open- let me explain.
And I make them often.
I am not a perfect mother.
I am not a perfect wife.
I am not a perfect friend.
I am not a perfect blogger.
And I hate that.
I hate hurting the people I love.
I hate disappointing people.
I want to be perfect and never say something I shouldn't.
I don't ever want to have a short temper.
I want to be able to do it all, accomplish it all- perfectly.
I want to make everyone happy- all the time.
I want to bring smiles to peoples faces, make their lives better- and be there for them at any given moment.
I don’t want to say things without thinking and hurt feelings.
I don’t ever want to make someone feel unwanted, unworthy or unloved .
I want to have the answers to every problem.
I want to be able to give to every cause that I believe in.
I want there to be enough in the Pass it Forward Adoption Fund to give to every adoptive family.
I hate that sometimes, truth be told, my heart is ugly.
I don’t like that sometimes I move forward without really thinking things through, without considering the consequences.
I don’t like that sometimes I don’t give the same grace to others as I want them to give to me.
I don’t like that often times I do not forgive quickly, yet want others to quickly forgive me.
But I am learning… learning to accept that I cannot be perfect no matter how hard I try. And learning to forgive myself when I am not. Learning that I can’t win ‘em all- and that I won’t always succeed. Learning that I can’t please everyone all the time, and realizing it is not my job to do so. Bottom line, failure is a part of life. Humans fail.
Which is why I am so thankful that I serve a perfect God.
Let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. Hebrews 12:1-2