The reality

Sometimes as donations have come in for the Pass It Forward Adoption Fund- I don’t know the story behind who sent it or why. I don’t get to hear how God has spoken to the person who is giving… or why they chose to give when there are so many other things they could do with their money instead.

But I do pray over each person, and over each donation-asking God to bless them and their obedience to His call. I know that whether it was a $1.00 donation or $100 donation- that person made a sacrifice of their time, of their money, and of themselves. And it is beautiful.

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And yet sometimes I do get to hear their story…Sometimes I get to find how God has spoken to them... I get to hear how He is working in their lives, changing them, molding them… and through it, I too, am changed.

A couple of weeks ago I went to my mailbox and found this…

Not only was I taken back by the $65.00 and some change that came spilling out, but what really knocked the wind out of me was the story behind the money.

It is a story of pure obedience and awareness- and it rocked me to the core.

Inside the envelope was a hand written letter of the story of how God had spoken to this beautiful girl and brought her to a place where she had the opportunity to choose obedience in God- or choose herself.

She went onto explain that 18 days before she had made 3 purchases frivolously and knew in the pit of her stomach that she had done something that was displeasing to God. Yet despite the feelings and various things that had happened surrounding the purchases, she chose to not return the items- all the while feeling horrible.

She explained that she didn’t understand why there are times that she felt the need to argue with God because ultimately the only thing that matters in her life is Him. As the tears ran down my face onto the pages of her letter, the ink began to smudge. Then I began to ask myself how many times had I done the exact same thing?

How many times had I chosen to argue with God, rationalize my decision-and then ignore him- when I too knew down deep in my heart that the only thing that truly mattered to me was Him?

And then I had to search myself even further and ask myself if I would have done what she did next…

Packing up her purchases she drove back to the store and returned the items… and then she did something else… she listened. She took the time and really listened to God… listened to him tell her that the money had another purpose.

For two days she listened and waited for God to show her… and then that night, she opened my blog, read our story, and she knew. She saw the need and she knew. She didn’t fight with God anymore, she didn’t rationalize keeping the money. There was absolutely no benefit for her involved- she just saw the need and responded to it. She responded to God.

A beautiful picture of pure obedience.

Hearing her story taught me more than I ever thought possible. I had to come face to face with the fact that there have been many times in my life I have had that ‘pit in my stomach’ kind of feeling over something- and yet I chose to ignore Him.

I had to come face to face with the face that there have many times in my life I spent money on myself- spent money on things that had no eternal value, out of my own desire to bring pleasure to myself.

I had to come face to face with the fact that many times I have made excuses and many times was I careless with the purchases I made- without any thought to anyone else.

I had to come face to face with the fact that many times I have kept the purchases only to find that they didnt bring me the happiness I originally thought. And many times I kept the item, only to throw them in the garage sale box several months later…all the while someone else went without.

I had to come face to face with the fact that many times I chose to keep the items, only to see them still sitting there months later collecting dust… all the while a constant reminder that I chose 'them' over Him.

Lord, please forgive me...

Heavenly Father, I lift up this amazing girl and the example of pure obedience she has taught me. Her story will forever be etched into my heart. Forgive me for the times Lord that I put my own desires before the things that truly matter to you. Forgive me for the opportunities that I had to make a difference in someone else’s life- and instead I chose myself. But more than anything else God I pray that you change me. I pray that you make me more like you and more like my friend who chose to listen and chose to obey. Thank you Lord, and thank you my friend for your example and for what you have taught me. May I be forever changed.

“Lord, let our eyes be opened.” Matthew 20:33