Yesterday I spent the day packing up Travis and taking him off to college...
today I have spent the morning bawling my eyes out.
It's such a weird feeling. When I walked away from him yesterday, my baby boy, I left him smiling and laughing and happy meeting new friends. Happy to have this new experience, this opportunity in life to further his education, and to discover more about who he is-and the purpose God has for his life.
And yet I am so sad.
Sad at how quickly life goes by, sad that it will never be the same again.
This is exactly what I wanted for him- this is what I prayed about for so long. Yet as I walked into his room this morning, sat on his bed that still smells like a stinky boy, I was overcome with emotions.
Mostly, I think I was mad at myself. Mad for all of the times that I didn't stop and just let myself soak in how truly blessed I was to be living in that exact moment.
Mad that I let time slip by so quickly because I truly didn't realize how quickly things change. Mad because I didn't always stop and appreciate the beauty of the painting he drew me in Kindergarten, the sight of my son sitting in his room playing XBOX, the kiss he blew me as he walked out the door, or the finger smudges he left on the glass door.
I didn't know how fast it would go. I didn't remember to be thankful for every single minute.
Instead I often let the laundry piling up, the errands that needed to be run, or the pressures of this world take priority.
And now, while I am so happy and SO PROUD of the man he has become, my heart is breaking because I just didn't know it would go by so fast.
I love you Travis- thank you for being exactly who you are. I could never, ever ask for more... well, except for it to have not gone so fast.
Make God proud my son- that is all that truly matters.