I am a runner.
No, not that kind of runner- not the kind that goes out early in the morning, stretches, and has sweat dripping down her temples. All it takes is one good look at my rear end and you would know that was not what I was talking about. I am a runner from hurt. It took me a long time to face that- but it is true.
In the past if someone has hurt my feelings, I would simply walk (or run) away from that relationship. Relationship over, done deal. Don’t look back, forget you. I’m outta here. But over time I have realized that by running – I am moving too fast for God to accomplish anything in me.
Yesterday there was an individual who made another hurtful comment gearing towards Kadens race. My first instinct was to get angry and then, yep you guessed it, RUN away. Go lick my wounds, maybe call a close friend and tell them all about it. Then, never, EVER, EVER talk to that person again. Avoid them at all cost, write them off, never look back. But what I have discovered is- no matter where I run- hurtful comments are going to be there. We are humans and sometimes we say and do things without thinking before we speak or act. No matter how far or how fast I can run-I will never be able to get away from human sin. When we said yes to Kaden, we said yes to facing a world full of racism. We knew, unfortunately, that was part of the package-and we said yes to God anyway. As I was praying about it this morning- sharing my heart with God- I heard Him gently remind me that the change must start within me. I must be an example.
So today I am leaving my running shoes behind. Taking them off and packing them away. Because I have realized when I am so out of breath from running, so exhausted- I cannot be of any use to anyone. Today the change will start with me. I will stop running, slow down and just love people right where they are, as they are. I want to show others how to see past Kadens skin and right into his heart- through my example. God created Kaden just the way he is- for a purpose- and God has plan for his precious life. I know that part of my plan is to love my son exactly the way he is and to teach Him about the one who created him. In my heart I believe that people really do want to do what is right, but sometimes stereotypes and prejudice are so deeply embedded into us that we don’t even realize they are there. My job is not to run from those who make comments- but to lovingly teach them. In doing so I will be an example to Kaden too so that he will grow into a man who is proud of who he is and how God created him. Then, if one day he still feels like he needs to run- it will be right into the arms of Jesus. The one who knows without a doubt Kaden has immeasurable worth, because after all, He paid the ultimate price for his life with His own.
I have told you all this so that you will have peace of heart and mind. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows; but cheer up, for I have overcome the world. John 16:33