I'll go ahead and admit that being patient is NOT my strength. You see, I seem to always have a plan- you know, one that "I" think is just perfect-as if I can see into the future and have it all figured out. So,after going through 2 adoptions (so far) you would think that I would have learned a LOT of patience. But no, God is still shaking His head at me as I scurry around down here trying to makes things work out the way I think they should be.
I haven't explained a lot on here so far about 'Sweet E'- mostly because we are at a place where we have basically told God we are open- and now...we wait. Wait for His plan to unfold. I think one of the hardest things about waiting is for one- we really believe what we are doing is a good thing, and you know what- it might be. But maybe, just maybe, God has a bigger plan- a better plan that will effect more people- change more lives- for His glory. Secondly, I hate to wait because that would mean letting someone else make the decisions- be in charge. And in my human mind, I sort of like to think I know what is best. But obviously, from my past track record- I am quite capable of making mistakes. And God- God doesn't ever make mistakes. So who am I to question Him- the master- my creator.? Who am I to think I know better than GOD? So today, as hard as it is for my human mind to accept- I will wait.
"Be still and know that I am God". Psalms 46:10
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said,"Wait.""
Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?
"I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?
"He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".