Friday, November 20, 2009

Adopting a child of a different race


When we first decided to adopt Kaden-I started doing a lot of research on adopting a child of a different race. (Yes I realize Mya and Aleigha are from a different race as well, but for some reason people kept telling us it would be 'different' with a black child).

So, I went to my favorite and best resource- THE BIBLE.


No further research was needed.


God tells us to love one another. To love our neighbors as ourselves. He doesn’t say to love only the ones that look the way we do.


It is funny how we humans have made ‘race’ into such a big issue- and funny how God does not.

Now I am not denying that there is a ‘difference’ between particular races and or groups of people. Because in reality- we are ALL different and we are all unique.


And that my friends is to be celebrated.


We are special because of the way that God made us. Period. We are always reminding our children how creative God was when he made us all. We celebrate His creativity- we see the beauty in dark skin and in white skin. We see the beauty in blond hair, red hair and brown hair. We see the beauty in blue eyes, brown eyes and green eyes.


We see the beauty in His creation.


Sure there is racism in this world. There probably always will be. Just like there is prejudice and discrimination against people who are short, fat, poor, of different religions, and different sex. I do not understand why people, since the beginning of time, have always felt the need to prove they are better than someone else instead of embracing and celebrating their differences.


And Satan loves that.


But the good thing is- you and I can choose for ourselves not to partake in that. We can choose to love everyone and demonstrate that love through the way we live our lives. We can choose to not follow what the world views as ‘less than’ or 'better than'- and instead look to Jesus who loves us all- red and yellow, black and white- just the same. We are all precious in his sight.


Get it? He see's our differences- He made us different on purpose. Not so we could fight over them but so that we could celebrate Him. Celebrate His creativeness and see those differences as beautiful- the way He does.


Why do we always get it so wrong?


Have we faced racism in our family? Sure we have. But it has given us and our children a better picture of what many people live with their entire lives. And we faced it together, as a family-pulling together and standing up for what we know is right. It has made us stronger and it has made us better. And we have become more understanding because of it.


It is my belief that when we know something is wrong it is not okay to just sit back, remain comfortable- and allow it to continue around us. As a HUMAN RACE we need to do what is right- even when it’s not popular, even when it makes us uncomfortable, and even if it causes us some pain.


Our family is no longer a ‘white’ family. We are a just a family who happens to not look alike- and we celebrate those differences. We do not try to make Kaden ‘white’ and we do not try to pretend we are black. We embrace our differences, celebrate them, and thank God for them daily.


I will tell you that the only difference between Kaden and our other children is that Kaden happens to have the most beautiful dark skin I have ever seen. Just like our other children- he has talents, he has dreams, and he has needs. He is full of life and full of personality. He makes me smile every day and he has brought more joy into our lives than I ever thought possible.Just another thing to celebrate. :0)


image signature

37 comments:

Chris and Sarah said...

Amen!!!

I love your blog.

G. Lopez . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . said...

Amy I couldn't agree more with your perception of race and skin color.
My wife and I are Mexican (is that white or brown?) Our son is Philippino; our next daughter (God willing) will be (or is) Ethiopian and I assume she will be Black and the one after that will (or is) Chinese and no idea what skin color she will have.
Should we love one more than the other because of their skin color?
By the way, their blood will be a very similar red between all of them!!!

Dardi said...

Woo-Hoo...that was straight from the heart of God there!! Keep speakin' truth...love it!

Hugs ~ Dardi

JJ said...

Amy, I love the way you write and explain things. I couldn't agree with you more. We will be traveling to bring home our 2 newest additions in about 2 months hopefully and I anticipate comments, looks, etc just as we do with the 2 international high school children that we host (who are very much a part of our family, one is from Thailand, one from S. Korea). This post gave me some great ideas of how to explain to people that we really are all the same. Even though I feel that way, I often don't know what to say. The only good thing about the looks or the questions, it can be a great door-opener to conversation about the miracle of adoption and our awesome God. Thanks for the awesome post, as usual. Congratulations again on your newest addition. How awesome is our God!!
www.bethe7percent.blogspot.com

ajnrileysmommy said...

preach it!! it is so refreshing to hear someone who believes in the ALL-SUFFICIENT Word of God!!

Geezees Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

Beautiful....Great blog post!

JG said...

Amen!!

Audrey said...

LOVE IT! Amy, you are something else - in a very good way! :)

Shonni said...

Beautifully written Amy.

Anonymous said...

As Momma to 8 wonderful children whose skin tones run the full spectrum from very dark to very light, and everywhere in between, I just want to say how refreshing your post was to me!!

We have chosen, when asked about the color of one of our new children, to answer "They are the color of love!" and leave it at that.

Christina

Are These Kids All Yours? said...

We all came from 2 people...ok after the flood a few people, but really that is it!!! Just a fact for people to know that there is actually more DNA differences between most "white" people that are friends than friends that are different skin colors.
Also not to put it too bluntly but technically all skin is brown :) Our babes love that!!!
There is a book called ONE BLOOD that is great at pointing to scripture about the fact that we are ONE in the human race- according to THE BIBLE :) Thank you for your post.

Kim & Dave said...

What a powerful post!!! As the mom of two Guat tots & one birth blessing, I couldn't agree more!

Found your blog through blog hopping today. :)

Sean and Lisa said...

Excellent post Amy!! To me there's nothing more beautiful then to see all my children in their varying degrees of color. After all, God's family is a rainbow of colors!

Chris said...

Thanks for the post...we are doing our Hague mandatory classes and it was pointed out in the required reading that we will never be able to understand because we are "privileged white people" somehow that seems racist too...no one can really know how other people feel.
Yes we are all made in the image of God, so the outside is the same to Him, it is the inside that matters.

Tanya said...

I love this post! Thank you for your words of wisdom...straight from God's Word!

Andrea said...

Just wrote a post about this yesterday, blogger wouldn't let me post it...lol yours is better. Thank you for sharing!

Tracy said...

Girl - you rock! Thank you, thank you, thank you. With as many comments as you have gotten, it must have been God's will for you to write that post.. It's now printed out and going in our adoption book. Thank you again to my go-to adoption mom!

The gFamily said...

Ahhh, you're back... That didn't take long! I love this post! AMEN!!!

natali said...

amen!! preach it amy!!! :))

Live to love and laugh said...

Wonderful post. --- A Side note: I think Kaden's dark chocolate skin is the most beautiful color.

Allie Garcia said...

Preach it, girl!

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

AMEN Amy!

Love this post! Our family embraces color and doesn't even see it! Our children love how we are all different shades and that God made us perfectly that way!

We don't get the world. They surely don't get us!

Big hugs and thanks for always keeping it real!

Love you,
Jill

Karin said...

I so totally agree. I wrote a post on this awhile back (although yours was better!). I do not want my kids ever to carry bitterness and anger about racism. They are Asian and Hispanic--and like you say, BEAUTIFUL!

sallee said...

Beautiful post!

and now may I just copy/paste it on my blog....... you have an eloquent writing style!

Thank you for posting the truth..... one may argue with 'man', but cannot argue with TRUTH!!

blessings to your family.....
love you blog!!
Sallee
http://itspoppydipblog.blogspot.com/

Suzette said...

This is so well written and explains so well how "alike" we all are rather than how "different." Oh, I am so glad God didn't make us all the same. His beauty is so much better than we could ever imagine and His colors make life so much sweeter and more beautiful!

April said...

Amy, I love reading your blog. We just finished our paperwork to begin our adoption from the foster care system. I had someone I work with ask me "Did you tell them you only wanted WHITE?" I told her no, that God commands us to take care of the fatherless, and I was positive that included children of all races. I have had to explain to several people that adoption for us is more about living out the love God gave to us through Jesus rather than just a way to grow our family. Thank you for sharing your heart!

Jen said...

Amy,

What a great post! I totally agree and we approach things in our family much the same way. Have you ever read any of Answers in Genesis' resources about this? They have a DVD called "Only One Race" and a book that someone else commented on above. We LOVE the many different tones of skin that God has put in our family, but more than anything, we just LOVE the children for who they are!

Jen said...

I forgot to ask if I could link over to this post. . . I would love to write a little about this, but you say so much so beautifully, I would love to direct others to your blog!

BArb== said...

I wish all people could see the uniqueness of us all the way children do. When my daughter was 4 she came home from preschool so excited because she had a new "best friend". She was so excited and I said thats awesome what is your friends name and she replied her name is CIDER and I knew she as mispronoucing it as she had some speech issues at the time so in trying to figure the name out I asked her questions one of them being well what color is she as we live in a very diverse school district. At one point there where 20 different first languages spoken amound the little ones in four grade levels. (Very Cool) but I digress. My point is my daughter looked at me and said well, she's people colored mommy. The next day I found out that her best friend was a beautiful little Indian girl named Syrah. And yes she was people colored!

Jill said...

I agree! Life wouldn't be half as interesting if we all looked similar and had the same culture. Isn't God's creativity beautiful. I am reminded of this everyday when I look at my beautiful children.

Kelli said...

Another awesome post...thank you! You are such a blessing. I wear my Every Child's Right T-shirt all the time, and tell folks about your blog!

The Heads said...

Amen! That's the only word that comes to my mind.

The Heads said...

Amen! That's the only word that comes to my mind.

Cap Creations said...

Sweetness right there! Thank you!

wheremyrtlesgrow said...

Awesome!!! Perfectly and lovingly stated!!

Emily said...

Just found your blog through a google search for "adopting a child of a different race" So thankful this is the first thing that popped up (God is good). My husband and I have 3 biological children and feel God has laid adoption on our heart. We have a wonderful adoption agency in our town called "Life Choices" that is a crisis center for woman who are considering abortion. Through counseling they are able to place numerous children in loving homes through adoption and avoid abortion.
Thank you for the reminder that the only research I need to be doing is in the Bible. There is only one race, the human race.
You have a new follower from me. I look forward to reading your blog and praying for you.
God Bless

Emily, Bob, Etta & Mae said...

I have followed your blog for awhile, but just happened to click on this post today. Just like the above commenter my name is Emily, we "have 3 biological children and feel God has laid adoption on our heart". We even have a center in our community called the "Life Choices Clinic" that counsels pregnant women. I have been meaning to call them (we are currently working through a different agency) to see if they do any placements in our community. I have been reading a TON of other materials, books, blogs, testimonies, etc. preparing for our adoption. It has just made me more apprehensive and worried about what will happen. But your blog post reminded me (as Emily mentioned above) "Thank you for the reminder that the only research I need to be doing is in the Bible". Your words to me today come at the exact right time with the exact right sentiment. Thank you for ALL that you do. Thank you for saying "yes" to God.