Ever have one of those days where you question your life, question who you are, question if you are ‘enough’ and question if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing?
Well, I had one of those days and it went like this…
I was walking down one of the endless isles of Walmart, tossing items into our cart (okay- well actually we had TWO carts) and while I was scanning for the best prices suddenly my cart about bumped into this woman in front of me. I looked up, smiled, and started to apologized for nearly running her down-when she turned around in such a huff I didn’t really get the chance to finish.
I felt about 2 inches tall.
Not only had I about run her over in my clumsiness… but here I was in my faded jeans with holes in the knee, tennis shoes, my hair thrown up in a pony tail and my shirt had snot on the shoulder (sad but true). And there she was in this beautiful white, name brand suit, with perfectly manicured red finger nails. Her hair was cut in a cute chic style and the color was perfect. She obviously worked out way more than I do because everything on her was ‘in place’ where it sags on me. She was tan, boasted of riches, diamonds on every finger, and her make-up was flawless.
And there I stood... 2 grocery carts full, old clothes, wrinkled, no make-up, and lets not forget the snot on my shirt. I watched as she leaned over the refrigerated section to select her fat free yogurt, and I couldn’t help but notice that every guy in the store ‘noticed’ too.
As I began to walk away I glanced into my cart and was embarrassed to see that while my cart was full of chips and sugary cereals- hers was full of organic veggies and fat free yogurt. (Okay so there was a bag of baby carrots somewhere in the bottom of my cart which of course I frantically searched for it just so I could toss it on top to prove that we did eat healthy occasionally).
Heading down the isle, hauling my over flowing carts, and slowly making my way towards the check out lane, I couldn’t help but to wonder what if I had taken a different path in life... What would it be like to live a life of leisure, a life where I had time for pedicures and daily work outs?A life where people envied me, where I had influence, where I mattered.
What would my life have been like it I had taken a different path?
As I paid our ridiculously large grocery bill, piled the groceries into my ridiculously large vehicle, and drove down the highway towards home, I found myself glancing in the mirror and noticing even more flaws. The wrinkles, the black circle under my eyes from being up with a sick child, and the need for a new hair style. I heard myself mumble under my breath “like I’ll ever have time for that” and continued down the road with a dark cloud over my head -as well as my heart.
But as I pulled that ridiculously large vehicle into our drive way I looked around and suddenly felt a smile started to form at the corners of my mouth. All of a sudden my heart felt 3,000 times lighter. There, before my very eyes, was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. 11 beautiful children of God, different in color and shape, different in personality and talents- but each and every one of them with a unique purpose in this world -waiting and waving at me. They came running towards me – so excited that I was home- that I suddenly felt like the queen of England. They grabbed my hand, hugged my neck (yes probably wiping more snot on my shoulder) and offered to help me carry the groceries in. They jumped for joy as I pulled the chips and sugary cereal out of the bag. :0) Suddenly, name brand suits, perfect red fingernails, a perfectly fit and trim body, and in style hair do’s began to seem a whole lot less important.
The Lord gave me something better and for that I will forever be thankful for. It was then that I knew for sure that yes I had indeed taken the right road home.
“Be very careful, then, how you life- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16