Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Surrounding yourself with good company

As I have said before, one of the greatest blessings of adoption have been the other adoptive minded families I have met along the way. If you are walking this path I encourage you to surround yourself- seek them out, heck- even stalk them if you have to (kidding of course) but find yourself a big, support group of those who ‘get it’. Trust me, you will hear the negative comments from time to time… you know the kind that make you doubt yourself, your sanity and even God’s voice. So seek out those people who will be there when you need them. The road is not always easy- but so, so, so very worth it.
You know how motorcycle riders always wave to other motorcycle riders like they have known each other for years- even though they have never met? That is what we need to do as an adoption community. We have to stick together- you know, give each other a nudge when we need it.
While adoption is one of the greatest blessings in my life- it has also been one of the hardest things we have ever done. I don’t ever want to steer anyone who reads my blog wrong and let them think that it’s always easy. I try to blog my ‘real’ feelings-within reason of course because there are some weirdo’s out there (if you fall into the weirdo category please click on the X at the top right hand of your screen and exit promptly ;0) but I also want you to know that there are bad days, days like I post previously about where I question our choices, and our sanity. Days where I am tired and don’t feel like hearing the word ‘mommy’ again for the
3,961st time- times when I am human. Our emotions- our feelings- are so tricky sometimes aren’t they? They run from hot to cold in 3 seconds flat. One minute we feel like we could adopt a sibling group of 6 and the next minute we feel like there is ‘no way’. So I guess what I am trying to say here is- just listen. Listen to God’s voice and listen closely. He won’t steer you wrong. It can’t be about YOU at all. It has to be all about Him. If you find yourself bouncing around, indecisive- keep seeking Him. He may be telling you that you are not ready yet- or He may be leading you down a path… to somewhere, or someone you had no idea was out there waiting for you. Ask yourself and then be honest about what you are afraid of? Are the things that scare you things that God cannot handle? No I am not telling you to be careless- God gave you that brain. What I am saying is that often we are unwilling to acknowledge the difference between what WE want and what God wants. If God is calling He will provide- in EVERY area… but you HAVE to take that first step of obedience. I have shared before the ways God has taken care of us through this journey. Ways I could never have even imagined before I took that first step. Not just financially- but even sending ‘just the right person’ into our path when we needed them. I didn’t even know those blessings existed until I took that first step of faith. Yesterday I found myself blessed yet once again by spending a beautiful day at the park with 3 other adoption motivated moms. As I said earlier- surround yourself with them. You will need their friendship and they will need yours. Thanks Kellie, Rachel and Shannon! Your friendship, your advice, your understanding, your hearts- bless me.

God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will bound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8














12 comments:

Amy said...

Thank you so much for this post! I needed it today.

And how I long for some local adoption-minded people. I have found many via the wonderful internet, but none in my area. Hopefully I too will find some.

Anonymous said...

You have been so on the money the past two days. I believe that I needed to hear someone else saying it so that I didn't think i was nuts. We are in the middle of an international adoption as well as adopting a child through foster care. Sometimes I think I'm crazy, but i feel that God is pushing us on to do this. Then others say things and that makes you wonder, Am I doing the right thing. I just keep praying for guidance Thanks for your words!

Jill said...

Amy - wow what a small world when you are a child of God. I know Rachel too! How awesome that you get to hang out in real life. Her children are beautiful and so are yours!

Your post is beautiful and so truthful! I hope it blesses the person(s) it is intended to find. Praising God for your obedience to share it today!

Hugs and blessings,
Jill
Who also has days where I'm like are You sure Lord, I'm the right Mommy for this job, for this child?

Adeye Salem said...

Ooohhh, you are so right! OBEDIENCE is the key---even when it makes absolutely no sense in the natural. I love this post, Amy.
Longing to be obedient too---but often stumbling and falling along the way :)
Adeye

Jennifer said...

I was looking at the pictures and thought "wow that looks like Rachel's Jayden" I was excited to send her the link....then I see the picture of her ha ha!!

Jennifer

Angela said...

Amy,
Thank you for writing this..it's as if you were speaking right to me...

I hate to even say "if you have a moment" cause yeah right..but God did speak to us in a really cool way on our adoption this week.

God Bless you,
Angela
(fourkidsplusone)

Mary Ann said...

Precious Pictures!

Pam said...

Great post. Amen. Amen. Amen! so glad for in intnet that has helped many of us meet!

Melinda said...

Great post and so true! I love this. But I do have to say that I am so jealous of your beautiful day at the park. We are dealing with below zero weather and I really wish I was in your neck of the woods where it is so much warmer than here in IL. :)

Carey said...

Wonderful post!! I don't think I could have said it better. We have a wonderful adoption community in our area that I am so grateful for. I hope you don't mind, but I linked to this post on my blog. Thanks so much for putting it into words.

Mashel said...

I just found your blog through Amy's (monster wrangler) and I want to tell you how much you inspire me. We too are foster-to-adopt parents, praying that we get the opportunity to adopt the twins that we have had since they were 4 days old. I would so love to adopt as many as you have one day. Your state must have different rules, ours says that you can't have more then 6 kids in one household, and since we have 4, it only gives us the room for 2 more. I completly agree with you about surrounding yourself though, and if there aren't anyone that you know of, do like I did, and get your friends involved! We prayed for support and through God have gotten about four or five of our friends to do foster care too.

Flamingo Mama said...

wowsers! it is completely God inspired that i clicked on your blog today to "catch up".

i'm sooo close to the end of my wait for our daughter from china. it's been a long wait.

as much as i want her here today, i've really been struggling with fears. lots of fears. and sometimes i wonder if i am doing the right thing. what if she hates me when she is older for adopting outside of her culture? what if i can't handle 1 more? will i be able to put all my energy into the attachment phase?

i also feel alone sometimes. alot of times i feel like i just don't connect with old friends. i feel like my focus is so different now.

but yet i know deep down that God did call me to this.

you articulate my feelings so much. and you are right about God's voice...thanks for allowing Him to speak through you today!