So I've definitely been a slacking blogger here lately. Have you ever had one of those times where you just cannot for the life of you focus? That is how I have been these past few days. Can't even finish a thought- so bear with me here. I wouldn't really call it being overwhelmed- I'd say it's more consumed. Funny because as I posted earlier that is the word the Lord keeps giving to me- consumed. Consumed by Him.
Since we have 'spilled the beans' about our new additions it has been, to say the least, interesting. Honestly, you will probably laugh about this- but I didn't really realize that it was that big of a deal to adopt five kids at once. I always say that God can use even stupid people- so here I am- all signed up- check the stupid box. To me it just seemed so simple- a sibling group of five needs a family- we love kids- we are passionate about adoption- so where do we sign up? Apparently not everyone sees it that way.
As I have shared with some- I'm okay with people being shocked. Since we are figuring out that not everyone adopts five children at once -when they already have seven children- I am going to be OK with 'shock'. What I am having a hard time digesting though is the downright rude comments. So once again- guess I am stupid- because I just cannot see how this could be anything but a beautiful thing. I never said it would be easy- I do know that much. But this is not about easy. I didn't sign up for easy. It's not about me being a perfect mother. Not possible. No such thing. I know there will be days where I will fall flat on my face (I do that now with seven). There will be plenty of days were I don't get it right, days when I am so tired, so exhausted, and feel like I have nothing left in me to give. And yet it will be those times when God will be glorified the most because in those moments I will be reminded more than ever that this is not about me- it's all about Him.
So stick around and see... I have no idea how to parent 12 children- but I am willing. Willing to give all that I have, willing to work hard to figure out what works best for each child, willing to give up my comfort so that a child can be safe, cherished. Willing to love- regardless of if they love me back, willing to give up my space, my time, my energy, my sleep and some days my sanity. And want to know another stupid thing- I'm EXCITED about it! God used stupid little me- He trusts me to raise His most prized possessions. He loves me that much! Oh I am more than just signed up- I used a permanent marker. :0)
Once again I wanted to say a MEGA HUGE thank you to so many of you who have emailed, called and wrote about us on your blogs. God has blessed us more than words can say through you our precious friends, family and fellow adoptive families. Your support far outweighs the rude comments any day! You guys rock and we love you all!