The battle rages on...

After writing my post on why we adopted a sweet reader left me a comment with a question. This morning during my quiet time with the Lord it popped back into my head. Her question is one I have asked myself a thousand times and one I think is so important for us to bring before the Lord.

Here is what she said:

"This explains my heart for our adoption as well. I too have lost my care about name brands, etc. However, I need advice on how to keep myself there. Maybe when we travel for court in March and actually visit Ethiopia it will be easier, but I am so selfish. I try so hard and I am easily sucked back in. Any suggestions to help?"

First I want to say that I hope when I post on here that I do not ever come off as sounding like I have it all together. Because the truth is- I seriously do not. I struggle daily- actually by the minute- to live as Christ has taught us to through His word. And, most of the time- I fail. While over the past 10 year since I became a Christian I have grown and changed more than I ever though possible (just ask people who used to know me) I am still a work in progress- big time.

I think one of the hardest things about being a Christian for me isn't believing- it's the peer pressure to conform to this world. Sometimes we do things and don't even realize that by doing them we are compromising our faith. I don't know if that's because it's just what we've always done it- or because everyone around us is doing it so we feel it must be right. Acceptance speaks volumes without us evening realizing it.

Most things I write about on here are things I have struggled with and I write about them after the Lord has brought them to my attention. And then I share on here in hopes to help or encourage someone else along the way. One of my biggest struggles (if you couldn't tell by my writing about it a lot) is the desire to have things... only, I didn't even realize it a majority of my life. Most people wouldn't have known this about me- because we certainly didn't have a lot of money and I didn't purchase the best- but I wanted to. It was all about my heart condition. I coveted what others had- and thought I needed to have it too. I believed if I did- it would bring me happiness and make me successful.

What a lie I had been sold.

And even today I still struggle- I know the truth- and yet I still struggle. As I have mentioned on here in the past- I can literally walk into the mall, smell the air and my heart will start to beat faster. I will start feeling like I just have to have this and have to have that. When will I ever conquer that desire? Even after traveling to 2 third world countries and seeing the poverty there, even after having orphan after orphans face forever etched in my mind- I still struggle with greed. I still want things I don't need and covet things I cannot afford.

Often times we will hear people defend their extravagant lifestyle by saying "But God wants us to have nice things." Absolutely. I am so not disagreeing with that. He loves us THAT much. He is so good. He wants us to enjoy the blessings he has given us. However, we must be very careful and truly examine our hearts over this. He wants us to have nice things- but if those things come before wanting Him, serving Him or our relation with Him- then they are wrong. If we cannot afford to give because we are working so hard to pay off our credit cards on those things we had to have-and if we cannot find the time to serve because we have to work over time to pay off that new car we felt we needed- then perhaps we are not putting God first...

So how to do I stop myself from being sucked back in? I fight. I cling to Him and to what He teaches me daily through his word. I pull myself out of bed every single morning early and spend time with Him- asking Him for strength to live out His word. I ask Him to help me see things the way He see's them. I ask Him to point out the sins that I don't see in myself. Daily.

Secondly, I don't go there. I hardly ever step into the mall anymore. (Can you blame me with nine kids? LOL Think maybe God knew this?) I know what my weaknesses are- and I am aware of them. And if I do have to 'shop' I pray before I go in and ask God to help me be thankful for the needs He has provided for- and to want nothing beyond those. Satan wants to suck us in. He wants us to want things more than we want God. He wants that big ol' house payment to be the reason that stops you from adopting. He wants to chain us to our possessions so that we cannot move to do God's work.

I wish I could say it was easy- once our eyes are opened. I wish I could say that change will come over night. But it isn't always- as sad as that sounds. I wonder though if perhaps God allows us to struggle as a constant reminder of our need for a daily relationship with Him? When we continue to seek Him-to turn to Him- He will be right there waiting to give us more than we could have ever wanted- for eternity.