Happy Mother's Day

My greatest joys in life is BEING a mother. One of my greatest blessings in life is HAVING my mother. (I love you mom!) Happy Mother’s day to all of you mothers out there… and for all of you hoping to one day become one. For those of you who have lost your mother, I am praying for you- and I know your mom's would be proud of who you have become. May God bless each and every one of you- always.

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here.

"Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes, and all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors. And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars. Ad that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand)mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat. For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again, "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college -- or have their own families.This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them. For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war. What makes a good mother anyway?Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache she feels when she watches her son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes her from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put her hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when she just wants to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in her home?Or the need to flee from wherever she is and hug her child when she hears news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying? The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...

And for mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all. For all of us... Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them. And pray and never stop being a mother...
Author unknown

Our calling

Our background and our circumstances may have influenced who we are... but we are responsible for who we become.

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Ephesians 5:8

Sometimes I just sit and watch my kids and I wonder what the future holds for them… and I wonder about what ‘could have been’. Of course I do not have the answers to any of those thoughts- but I do know one thing- God has a plan for their lives- and their background and circumstances will never prevent them from living the life God called them to be- if they don’t let it. As a matter of fact- I believe God will use everything you are and everything that has ever happened to you- and I have come to realize that often our earlier experiences (especially the ones that involve ‘pain’) are often the key to being able to fulfill God’s calling.
So the question for many of us is often this “How do I know if what I am doing is God’s calling?” And a good question it is. I believe that God has a general call for all people- that call is to Salvation. God calls all people to Himself. Then once you are a Christian I believe God calls us to be a witness for Him. Then beyond that, some people are called by God into a particular service. Remember though, serving means serving others- not ourselves. God reaches through one-or a few-to touch many. Often individuals are called by seeing a need and responding to it. The need becomes the call. So if what you are doing is mainly going to be ‘for your own benefit’ and not for others then it may not be a ‘God calling’. To me, following God’s calling for my life means turning my back on anything else that previously held me in it’s grip. Sometimes those things that had a hold on me were even ‘good’ things. But since God knows we all have the same 24 hours in a day it’s important that we spend our time on HIS calling- not OUR desires, our interests or our own self- will. Whatever it takes- you have to abandon yourself to Christ. I used to think I was doing that… filling my day with good things (or so I thought). I wasn’t doing anything bad after all- I was just living my life… for ME.
There are also other ways to ensure it is God’s calling-those ways include the Word of God, through the opening and closing of doors (our circumstances), the inner voice of God, our particular gifts and talents, and through the wisdom of other Christians. But I think the ultimate confirmation is when there is great joy in carrying out the call. That does not necessarily mean there will be great success- but there will be great, great joy and a feeling like you are exactly where you belong-even in suffering. But I think we have to be very careful in how we view suffering. I do not think that in order to please God we have to be stressed out, overworked, miserable and feel tortured. I do not believe it is God’s desire for us to be unhappy. For me, while there have been times where I have been skeptical- or even afraid- there was still a great desire to do God’s work. When I watch my kids- that is exactly what I hope for them (and for you) to feel one day. A great desire to serve the King of Kings- and to never feel more alive through doing it.

Red Letters Campaign

This morning my alarm went off at 6:00 am as always on a school day. More rain was still coming down outside, a soft patter on the windows. I crept through the house finding my way into each child where I would softly kiss them on their warn cheek and gently nudge them out of their beds to start the day. I wondered to myself what God had planned for their lives today… for their futures… They quickly showered, got dressed and came into the breakfast table and sat down for a quick bite before heading off to school… heading off to make the most of today. And then I wondered, what about all of the children in the world who are waking up on this same day… only they do not have a mother to softly kiss their cheek because last week they lost her to AIDS. And what about the little ones who do not have a home, let alone a table to sit down at… and never a bite to eat? What about them? Yet I scurry through my day, making my way down my ‘list of things to do’ --will I still remember of them? Will I make those children a priority in my life or will I fill my day with the business of PTA, soccer practice, and more grocery shopping?
My amazing friend Angel decided that would not sit right in her life anymore. She and a group of life long friends decided to add those children to the TOP of their ‘to do’ list. They decided to "BE THE CHANGE they wished to see in this world." (Gandhi)
Check it out for yourself- http://thevoiceofadventure.blogspot.com/ www.redletterscampaign.com/
and Angel- I AM SO PROUD OF YOU MY FRIEND. YOU BLESS ME, you make me want to be MORE, you make me want to be different. You make me want to be the change too. Thank you.

SINGING IN THE RAIN!

I've always loved the rain... loved sleeping in the rain and loved hearing the sound of the rain on the roof. But my kids- they have a whole different idea of loving the rain...

I think maybe they've got the right idea- naps are over rated anyway if you ask me! ;0)

And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy they soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and though shall be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, who's waters fail not. Isaiah 58:11

Weekends with seven

Often I am asked how we do it with seven kids... Honestly, I don't even know how to answer that. We just do life. This weekend though I thought I'd just show you. It's definately busy- but always lots of fun!

Posing for pictures for our crazy mom who always has her camera!

Sweet Kallan

Making our own night at the movies on our living room floor

Kallan building his fire in the pit

Me

Addisyn mowing our yard

My honey

Kaden eating the chocolate out of his S'more

Addisyn posing for a picture

Aleigha playing in her playhouse in the backyard

Our dog Makela

Mya hanging out at the fire pit

Aleigha at our small town festival

Todd working in the garden (Yeah- something is actually growing in there!)

Mya, Aleigha and Addisyn taking a break

Mya and Keegan sitting on the new picnic table Keegan made me at school for Mother's Day (I love it!)

Kaden enjoying his popcycle

Kallan exploring on our land

Kaden's sticky mess

More fun at the fire pit! (Sure beats cooking inside!)

Aleigha enjoying her S'more

Travis and his girlfriend Cayley at the festival

Mya sliding at the festival

Addie, Kaden and Mya having fun

Aleigha and Mya going for a ride at the festival

Mya eating ice cream

Kaden, Mya and Aleigha in the sand box (they will play in there for hours!)

Kaden being a ham as always

4 hams

sister secrets

What to do with today

"What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it."

I was just thinking that I probably needed to blog something today or you would all think I fell off the face of the earth. But the truth is- I really had nothing to profound to say. Hee/Hee My mind has pretty much been useless this past week- basically used up on the trivial things throughout the day like 'what to make for dinner that will actually feed 9 people', and 'who has a soccer game tonight and which field'? It's been nonstop running and in between I'm just trying to be the best mom and wife that I can be. So when I came across this quote today I had to ask myself- "what am I really doing today that is important- important enough that I am wasting an entire day on it"- and then I knew. I knew it was ok to just be a mom. It was better than ok actually. It's ok to do 4 loads of laundry in one day because it means my family has clean clothes and therefore respect of themselves. It's ok to plan good, healthy meals for those I love and care about so that we are taking care of the one body we get in this life. It's a good thing to take my kids to soccer and to cheer them on- for they know they are loved- even if they loose the game. So yes, today I am ok with using up a day of my life just 'being a mom'. It feels good- boring blog and all. :0)

Horchata

On of Mya's favorite memories from being at Eagles Nest orphange in Guatemala is drinking warm rice milk. She actually used to pout and play sick (I witnessed her do it!) and then one of the mama's would come running and feel her forehead and then she'd tell them her tummy hurt so they would bring her some warm rice milk. Now I have no idea exactly how they made it there but we did find Horchata milk mix at our local Walmart. On the package it says to make it cold but Mya loves it warmed up. It has a cinnamon taste to it and she LOVES it. Anyway- if you have never had it you should try some- it's actually pretty good! Not good enough to fake a tummy ache or anything... but still not bad.

Pictures

I twisted my kids arms today and talked them into letting me take a couple of pictures of all of them together. No easy task getting all seven of them to smile at the same time! Aren't they cute though??

HIV- tell two

The following was copied from a blog of one of the most amazing adoptive mommies I have ever 'met'. She is the mother of 11 children- 2 of whom are HIV+. She is a true inspiration. As I read over her blog post it made my heart ache for all of the people who face the stigma of being HIV+. I believe in this day and age it is time for people to wake up and take the time to educate themselves on the truth about HIV. Although I am not the one carrying HIV- I carry the burden of it- as a choice. For me it comes down to one question and one question only- how would Jesus respond to HIV? HIV/AIDS is the worst plague ever to hit the earth. People are hurting- and the answer lies in providing information that will replace fear with knowledge. When people become educated about the disease and its transmission, they can then reach out in compassion without thinking they are risking theirs or their families’ lives. Those of us that know Jesus Christ know that we have the responsiblity to educate ourselves and to reach out in love. This love speaks of a God who can dispel the stigma, fears and superstitions that so many cultures hold concerning HIV/AIDS. Please read the blog post below and please, please- tell two. Tell them the truth- educate yourself- make a stand for those who are hurting. This is once again your chance to make a difference- will you do it?

Tell two
Today I have heard from several different parents of HIV+ children who are facing negative reactions to their adoptions based on the stigma and ignorance surrounding HIV. It is extremely frustrating to me that in 2008 there is still so much unfounded fear caused by a lack of education, that results in nasty, ugly and mean treatment of people who are HIV+ and their families.
The reason people in the U.S. are not educated about HIV is that most people don't care, because most people in this country are not affected by it. People still see it as the problem of homosexuals, drug users and people in Africa. The reality is, HIV/AIDS is everyone's problem. It is a devastating problem in Africa and many countries, but there are many, many Americans living with this disease as well. In fact, new cases of HIV in the U.S. are now being seen in the largest numbers in heterosexual women. HIV/AIDS is a HUMAN problem.
Living with this nasty disease is hard enough, but compounding that with the misguided fear and judgment of society is beyond tragic, and as the mom of two HIV+ children, it is sad and frustrating.
So, if you are one of the many who check in to this blog every day, I am asking you to do me a favor. I want you to tell at least two people about HIV. Spread the word that...
- HIV can NOT be spread through causal/household contact. HIV is not spread through hugging, kissing, shaking hands, sharing toys, sneezing, coughing, sharing food, sharing drinks, bathing, swimming or any other causal way. It has been proven that HIV and AIDS can only be spread through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles).
- HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable disease. With treatment, people who are HIV+ can live indefinitely without developing AIDS and can live long and full lives.
- People who are HIV+ deserve to be treated with love, respect, support and acceptance as all people do.
If anyone wants more info on transmission, there is great info on the Center for Disease Control website at http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/transmission.htm
Help me spread the truth about HIV, and take a tiny stab at the stigma against HIV. Tell your friend when you talk on the phone. Tell your spouse. Tell your parents. Post it on your blog and ask other people to tell their readers. Ask them to pass it on as well. I would love to see this spread beyond the adoption blogs.
Even if you have no real interest in HIV/AIDS, even if you are not involved in adoption, even if you don't think you know anyone who is HIV+... education and knowledge are always a good thing. It is so easy to say to someone, "hey, guess what I learned today?" and it is even easier to put it on a blog or in an email.
Do it for me. Do it for the other adoptive families and the HIV+ orphans that are waiting for homes. Do it for Belane and Solomon. Do it for all of the other people on this planet living with HIV. If everyone that reads this blog tells at least two people, that is a whole bunch of people we can reach and a little bit of difference we can make.

Bonding

One of the things written in Kadens file that had me worried was they had mentioned there being a concern about him being able to bond. We would, after all, be his 4th placement in his 16 months of life and the more moves the child has made the more the experts tend to worry about the child’s ability to bond. I honestly do not think we have a problem at all, as a matter of fact, Kaden has initiated skin on skin contact already and that is such a good sign. At first it seemed sort of funny to us, he loves to rub our arm and his favorite thing yet (especially when he is tired) is to lay his face on my tummy.
But what I really wish is that I could just push a magic button and make Kaden know, without a doubt, that we are his forever family- that he has nothing to fear, that we are not going anywhere- EVER. But there is not magic formula (or button) and it takes time - sometimes plenty of it. Furthermore, bonding is not a one way road and it cannot be forced.
Bonding, or the sense of belonging together, is vital for any child- but especially an adopted child. It takes work and absolute commitment. Bonding creates within the child a sense of confidence and a positive attitude that I believe is the most important thing of a child’s life. Touch is absolutely essential for bonding. Yet many parents don’t know how to initiate touch and feel awkward about it.
Healthy touch with good boundaries is the best way to communicate to your child, especially if your child is too young to speak or spoke a different language. The beautiful thing about touch is that it is universal- it transcends language. I remember being at the orphanage in Guatemala and every child CRAVED being touched and held.
Here are a few things that we have done with our adopted children- that most experts recommend to help enhance and secure bonding with your adopted child:
1. Brushing Hair-This can be a great and easy way to spend time with a child. It also involves a touch and nurturing.
2. Schedule/Routine-Routine is so important for an adopted child to help them feel they have a little bit of control in their world that has been turned upside down. Also, it helps the child to know what to expect next and gives them security in their future.
3. Lotioning-Applying lotion to a child's hands and feet can also be part of a bedtime routine. Children of color will benefit from having lotion applied to their legs, arms, face, and back.
5. Reading a Story
6. Clapping Games and Rhymes- Remember the games played out on the playground?
7. Mirror Images- I did this with Mya and Aleigha as well. We would stand in front of the mirror and I would point to Mya and say “Mya” and then to me “Mommy” over and over again. Kaden has already started pointing to himself and then to me when we stand in front of the mirror together.
8. Paint Finger and Toe Nails
9. Play Hand (or feet) games -like thumb wrestling, rock, paper, scissors, or this little piggy.
10. Sing Songs-especially ones that involve touching- we do Chris cross apple sauce and itsy bitsy spider
11.Play Where is Mommy? Playing a variety of peek-a-boo and hide and seek games is fun and focuses the child’s attention on his mommy. During the games I frequently say, “Where is Mommy?” or “Look at Mommy,” reinforcing who Mommy is. This is also helpful outside of game time when I need Kaden to look at me.

As you become more comfortable with your child and your new routine becomes more predictable, both you and your child will likely feel more confident with each other and one day you will wake up and there will no longer be a need for that magic button- true love took over.

Free Rides

One of the best things about being in a big family is that someone can usually come up with something to do on a boring day. Anyone up for a 'sleigh' ride?

Sore Back

I woke up this morning with a sore back. Trying to figure out why, I stretched and tried to turn to the right. No such luck. So next I tried to turn to the left, no luck their either. I have no idea what is going on...

Must be the lump in my mattress

Fun in the Sun!

This was Kaden's first time (with us atleast) swimming. He LOVED the water and loved playing with his big brother Kallan and big sisters Aleigha and Mya!