As of August 1st, Todd will no longer be employed by the company he has worked for over the past 13.5 years. Now I have to admit, despite how hard I try not to let it, with that step comes a bit of fear. When the Lord first began to call us to the mission field full time we came up with all kinds of excuses. The main one I am embarrassed to say, was finances.
In all honesty, I didn't think we could do it. Which translate to lack of faith-and putting our financial security before God.
But what we realized was that what you believe (not what you say you believe but what you REALLY believe) will effect the way you live.
And Todd and I knew if we were going to believe any part of the bible at all- we had to believe every part of the bible- and live that way.
Otherwise, isn't it all a waste?
And so, as the time quickly approaches where we will no longer have the security of working for an amazing company- we have eternal security in serving an awesome God.
One of my favorite things to do every day is to open our spread sheet and pour and pray over our partners.In those times the Lord quietly reminds me that we are not alone in this- that they too are right where we are- walking along side the Lord putting their faith before their finances.
As I lift up each individuals name, I cannot help but to have this incredible peace wash over me...
God has partnered us with the most coolest supporters ever. Partners who's examples of faith teach me so much.
We have two partners who are missionaries themselves. Beautiful.
We have partners who are in the process of raising funds for their own adoptions without a clue where it will comes from- and yet still they give.
My elementary school principal and elementary teacher are our partners (Hi Mr. Krones and Mr. Kridner!!) They have to have a ton of faith because they probably never thought in a million years I'd end up being a missionary.
We have family and childhood friends partnering with us- who have seen us at our worst and occasionally at our best. They know how 'unworthy' we are- which tells me they have faith God can do this. ;)
We have partners whom we have never met- yet they have reached out in faith, not at all because of us- but all because of God.
We have partners from Todd's job that he will soon be leaving (we love you 3M!!) because regardless of whether we are working for the Lord or for a company, they know what really matters in life.
We have partners who are children- children who love the Lord and out of that love have had lemonade stands, sold their possessions and donated their allowances. Children who get it in ways many adults cannot.
We have partners who are pastors and partners who are new to missions.
We have partners who live on little- and give a lot.
And not a one of them has taken the Lord by surprise. He knew all along who they would be, even when we didn't.
He sees it all, the big picture, even when we cannot.
And you know what? I end up being thankful for that little bit of fear. Because it allows me to know that we couldn't do this on our own- and He gets all the credit. For the longest time I kept asking "Are you sure God?" Are you sure you can use us?? I figured surely He didn't mean us- we can't afford it, we are certainly not theology majors and actually we are downright unequipped. But as I spent more time with the Lord I understood. We were exactly who He wanted- those would couldn't do it without Him.
Every one of those donors- they aren't giving to Todd and I- they are giving to the Lord. I am pretty positive that they could think of many things they would like to 'have' with the support they have given- and yet they chose Him.
Isn't that all that He asks of us?
Just to choose Him?
Choose Him before all else?
Choose Him out of obedience.
Choose Him regardless of what others think, say or do.
Choose Him regardless of our worthiness or abilities.
Choose Him regardless of the cost.
It seems so simple, yet so hard for the human mind to comprehend.
As I was working on this post I picked up my coffee and my daily devotional... funny how it went along exactly with what the Lord was teaching me today.
"Psychologists say that grasping, holding onto things and people only make us anxious, possessive, controlling and difficult to live with! That's why Jesus said: "Whoever tries to keep his life will lose, it and whoever loses (invests) his life will preserve it". (Luke 17:33). You've tried everything else- how try giving yourself fully to God. " ~ Daily Devotional July 21