Thursday, March 25, 2010

No matter how many...

Often times I have heard mothers of large families express hurt over the fact that when child
# 5, 8 or 12 came along there no longer seems to be the support or sense of excitement from others around them. Actually, often times it is even the opposite- a roll of the eyes, questions of "AGAIN?" or even jokes made- that are not so funny.

This makes me so sad.

EVERY CHILD is a gift. EVERY LIFE should be celebrated. It doesn't matter if you are #1 in the family or #18- YOU COUNT.

You matter to God.

He created you with the same amount of care as he did child #1. He loves you with his whole heart and so does your family. So even if having a large family is not for you, that's okay, no one is forcing you to parent. But please be thoughtful and considerate of the jokes. Just look and you will see that each child is special and unique and worth celebrating. A hug, a
smile, or expressing your congratulations is all it takes.

We have felt so blessed by the encouragement we have had since announcing adding Carson and Havyn to our family. Knowing what I know makes me appreciate even more all of the texts, emails, comments, calls and visits you all have showered upon our family. This is my wish for every large family. Our extended families and friends have been beyond supportive and I know that both Carson and Havyn feel extremely loved- as they deserve to be. So, I just wanted to say thank you for that. Thank you for realize the value of another child being placed in a family- no matter what number they happen to be.
And thank you my sweet sister Jenny for driving 12 hours to meet your new niece. We love you all!

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15 comments:

Shauna said...

My heart was so sad (not for selfish reason) but that when our #5 was brought home - there were 3 gift given and only one to him. When my other 4 were born we were showered with gfts. So strange! Each one is a treasure indeed!

trustandobey said...

Before I adopted, I simply could not understand or fathom having so many children...(not in an ugly way...I just could not get my head around it).Now that I have adopted, I see it clearly. Now my question is this...Lord, are you going to curtail the yearning for more children at some point??? Each one is such a miracle. Heaven help us when we get to the point of rolling our eyes at a miracle.

angie said...

Jenny, you rule!!

Amy I love this post and I couldn't agree more! every child is so special and a blessing to the world!

Congrats... I am so happy for you and your family and for Carson and beautiful Havyn!!

We both have 9 kids!!

Lisa H. said...

I SO agree with this post! Even our family has not gotten this one! :O(

Lisa H.

Anonymous said...

So funny that I should come home from working at the preschool today to sit down and read this! I was just talking to another mom about this very thing and how some people give their opinion on whether other families have "enough" or "more than enough" children already in their family, and why would they add more! As if they have the right to say when enough is enough for other families. That irritates me so much!! Loved this post....EACH and every child is such a precious gift! Can't wait to meet Havyn!

Love to all of you Blocks~
Heather

Terri said...

Hello Amy, I have been a lurker for some time but I finally had to post to "Congratulate" you on your gorgeous new addition she is a doll & I LOVE the name. Your family is so beautiful!!!

We are in the process of our 2nd adoption but our 3rd child & I can already tell the difference & it is so hard for me to understand how people can not just understand & think of these childrens lives & what a difference it will make no matter what # they are!!!

Congrats to you & your family, Best Wishes & I look forward to following along on your wonderful journey!!

Jennifer P said...

This happened to us. When #9 came at 4 months old, we got one meal from a mother of 5 whose husband had been laid off. Everyone else pats us on the back and says we are doing a great job because they could never do it. What to say, what to say......to be a light and help others find a way to make a difference in the life of a child.

Julie said...

Awesome post!!!! Wonderful! All of our children are blessings. Thanks for the reminder.

Julie

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!

I too tire of the "jokes" and "comments" - I don't understand and I know God doesn't either.

We are all a blessing - His wonderful, fearfully and perfectly created children!

Love you! And I for one am THRILLED for your new additions. They are perfectly picked just for your beautiful family!

Jill

Sophie said...

Your so right Amy, every life is of great value to God created in His image for His purpose to bring Him glory. I get so annoyed by some of the comments people make when we venture out with our 6 kids. One time at a church picnic an older man blurted out a question that shocked me, he actually asked if we owned a t.v., it's a good thing my husband always has great comeback!

Karin said...

We have experienced the jokes...they are not very funny. I try to be gracious, but sometimes it's just tiring. We have also had amazing and wonderful support from others and I am SO grateful for that! It totally blesses my heart to have people care about our new kiddos.

Andrea H. said...

I think that is why we need our blogs so much because they give us so much support. BTW, I wouldn't mind driving 12 hours to meet my baby but 4 days a a bit too long. Love you.

Debbie T said...

I wish your big 'ol wonderful family was gonna be in Tulsa this weekend! Miss you my friend (and that sister of yours too!!)

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

You are BLESSED to have a supportive family.

Our daughters have been home from Ghana for 2 years ... they have only met 1 of the 4 grandparents. (All grandparents living within a 1/2 day's drive.)

Our 2 youngest bio. sons (ages 8 and 10) have only met 2 of the 4 grandparents, and it's been 7.5 years since they've seen 1 of those 2.

Our kids don't even get birthday cards or Christmas presents from any of their grandparents.

So. So. Sad.

Can't wait until we have grandbabies ... that we can POUR our love in to.

Laurel

Sharla said...

I couldn't agree more. I find it so sad that there are baby showers (multiple ones) thrown for baby #1 and even #2 but by 3 and 4, there are usually only a few phone calls, maybe a card or two. For the first baby, when the mom can sleep when they sleep, there are meals dropped off and offers of help but by the later kids, that doesn't always happen. I have felt hurt by this and feel sad that many of our children will not have pictures of their welcome showers in their albums. For our latest additions, I threw a welcoming party because they deserved to be celebrated even if our extended family didn't see it that way!

Thank you for shedding some light on what can be a painful topic. I'm glad that your family has been so supportive. I also know that God celebrates with each of our children's births or adoptions.